The Last to Know
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Multiple pairing post-war, with main pairing Loki/Tony mpreg. "Loki ends up in the Avenger's mansion during the second half of his punishment after trying to destroy Midgard, and after that…well, all hell breaks loose." Shitty summary weee read inside notes for a better understanding :) COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Author's notes: Alright, a little twist on what I usually do: a request! I'm not sure if the user (you know who you are because I've messaged you!) wants me to say their username, soo I shall keep it to myself! Their requests within the request were 1) the main pairing to be Tony/Loki, 2) Tony becoming pregnant (like in _Stay_, the sequel to _Words_), 3) the side pairing of Steve/Clint, and 4) bitchy Natasha (—not really worded all that way but hey). So, this is what I came up with, and I hope it's to the enjoyment of both the user who requested it and to all the rest of you :)

Altogether it's 67 pages and just fewer than 33,000 words according to Word, taking place after the "Loki incident". The Avenger's movie was released on April 11, 2012, so that's just the date that I'm setting as the day Loki attacked New York, and all of my dates are in according. It's _mostly_ in Tony's third person PoV, but I do take it in others often enough, and I'm also having it assumed that Tony and Pepper _did_ date but later broke up, and Pepper is still his CEO… Oh and everybody lives in the AvengersMansion.

Also okay so I know that the comics and movie actors do look different in like height and/or hair color and shit, but I'm just saying now that everybody is in their 2012 movie!verse appearance. So that means Clint, who is blonde and 6'3" in the comics, looks like Jeremy Renner instead, and so forth. The only comic canon thing (of any significance, anyway) I've got in here is Steve's personality. In the movie he's super sweet and one big ball of freedom, but in the comics he's actually rather arrogant and sarcastic, so I'm going to be using a few of those elements every now and again.

And…I think that's it! Enjoy :)

PS for those of you who haven't read any of my stories before, "**OoOoOoO**" means it's a break between two different perspectives, and "**XxX**" is a break within the same perspective. Just FYI.

PPS I made up Natasha's birthdays for some plotline, aaand I'm making some of their ages younger than how they probably are…like I would usually just have them the same age as their actors, but for reasons I am not doing that.

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**Disclaimer**: None of the characters in this story are mine. They strictly belong to Marvel and whoever else has helped create the Avengers or the characters of Asgard.

**Full summary**: Multiple pairing post-war, with main pairing Loki/Tony mpreg. "Loki ends up in the Avenger's mansion during the second half of his punishment after trying to destroy Midgard, and after that…well, all hell breaks loose." Shitty summary weee read inside notes for a better understanding :) COMPLETE.

**Pairings**: Loki/Tony, Steve/Clint, previous Clint/Natasha, previous Tony/Pepper, previous Steve/Peggy; platonic Bruce/Natasha  
**Status**: Complete  
**Rating**: Mature  
**Warning/Not-warnings**: m/m and m/f pairings; smut; strong language; pregnancies in both genders; adoption

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[Chapter summary: In which Tony believes the God of Lies, Steve goes against forties protocol, and Natasha needs to find someone to trust very quickly.]

**Chapter One**

_TONY  
October 11/October 13..._

Tony Stark prides himself in not jumping at things that come so suddenly out of the blue. On the other hand, jumping when something blue shows up so suddenly is a different topic altogether. Which is why, when someone (something?) that looks suspiciously familiar sort of just _appears_ in the basement lab of the Avengers mansion, Tony leaping up high enough to hit his head on the twenty-foot up ceiling is going to be something he's okay with sharing at the kitchen table when lunch rolls along. It's midnight, after all, which means sleep is for the weak and Tony will skip breakfast later to be very weak indeed.

But the man in…no, the man _of_ blue. He simply pops in, curses quietly, and disappears again. Tony hasn't a clue what it's about and he doesn't really care to find out, so after a bit of staring at empty space he goes back to what he was doing. It's been forty-eight hours since he last slept anyway, so he's probably just seeing things. That happens sometimes.

But when lunch rolls along? Well…

"Did anybody else notice the spike in magic at exactly midnight last night?" Natasha asks, taking a bite of the homemade shawarma that Steve's been making a lot of lately. Tony never should have suggested it those fateful six months ago… He's getting sick of the stuff, but it's that or he doesn't eat, and food is food to Tony, so he'll eat it.

"You were up at midnight?" Bruce asks.

"You sleep more than any of us, Banner," Natasha says in her usual snippy tone. For the last two months she's been having this everlasting menstrual cycle or something. "It was my turn to patrol last night," she says, looking over at Tony. "I was mainly talking to you, Tony, since you're usually up till at least four. Did you notice anything…unusual?"

Tony stares at her. What is he supposed to say? _"Oh yeah, random blue dude popped into the lab for a few seconds. Why?"_ So he simply shakes his head and shoves some more food into his mouth. People usually know not to talk to him when he's eating. Tony really loves food.

So Natasha shrugs and goes back to eating her own food, and the topic is dropped.

The problem is that someone picks it back up again two days later. Or, more appropriately, pops it back up again, because there he is again, just sort of…showing up in Tony's lab in the exact same spot.

This time, though, he doesn't leave right away. Tony gets a good enough look at him this time to see that it's none other than his favorite little God of Mischief. The blue must be his true Frost Giant form that Thor was telling them about…

He doesn't have anymore time to think about it, though, because that's when he notices the fact that Loki is wounded. There's a metal pole sticking through his body, right in the middle of his stomach.

"Stark," the god rasps, stumbling forward and then collapsing.

Tony takes a step back, convinced it's a trick. "Um…hi?"

"Help me," he says. "I…I didn't know who else to come to. I don't have enough magic left to…to do it myself." He drops off of his hands and knees to roll to his side.

Tony takes another step back. "How do I know you're not just trying to trick me?" he asks.

"Stark," he gasps out, both arms going limp. "Please." His eyes close.

Tony gives a whimpering groan, going forward without thinking much more about it. Loki may be evil, but he's not stupid enough to try and take over the world again. Besides, Tony's an Avenger, right? He's here to save people, so that's what he'll do. Maybe Loki tried to destroy them all, but in his defense the Tesseract _was_ a very pretty blue. Who wouldn't want that? Besides, after this, Loki will owe him.

Loki's passed out on the floor by now, blue blood seeping out just long enough to drip to the floor and freeze there.

Tony rolls his eyes, grabbing his electric saw. "Frost giants," he mutters, positioning Loki carefully on his side so he doesn't roll any directions while he's working. He saws off the back of the pole (how does an evil magician get impaled by a metal pole, anyway?) before gripping tightly to the other end, taking a deep breath, and pulling. He pulls slowly, and even in sleep the god lets out little whimpers of pain.

As soon as it's out, Tony pretty much has no idea what to do next. There's a god losing blood fast on his floor from a hole nearly two inches across in the middle of his stomach, and all Tony can do is—

"Ice!" he yells, leaping up and running over to his freezer (he only has a mini-fridge, but his freezer is large for experiments and the like) to pull out an entire bag. He runs back over, scooping out a piece and pressing it lightly to the opening of the wound.

It sizzles right at first, causing Tony to quick pull it away, but even then the blood continues to freeze over, stopping the blood flow in such a way that it begins to freeze through the entire wound.

Tony grins, pushing Loki onto his back and dumping the ice into the wound so that it falls all the way to the lab floor before piling up and through his stomach. A sort of steam billows up, rising and freezing the spot on the ceiling that he's below. He'll fix that later.

Loki is still blue, but when Tony reaches up and pats him on the face, the blue seeps away to pale porcelain, like raindrops racing down a window during a storm. After a bit more shaking, Loki wakes with as sort of gasp that suggests he's just had a terrible nightmare.

He looks up at Tony with wide eyes before craning his neck to look down at his stomach. "You actually saved me," he whispers, fingering the ice.

"Well, yeah," Tony says, quick standing up and backing away by a few yards. "Saving people is what I do."

"There is no need to be afraid," he says, sitting up very slowly, watching the ice drain out of his stomach. It was still completely frozen there, but as soon as the contact is gone it begins to melt. "I am far too weak to cause you or anyone else any harm." He lets out a choking sort of laugh. "In fact, I couldn't cause you any harm even if I wanted to."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Loki places a hand over the hole. "It is my punishment," he whispers, little magical sparks flickering around his fingertips.

"You mean the one for trying to take over the world?"

"It is not _the_ world," he snaps. "It is _a_ world. You are not the only world there is. But yes, _that_ punishment. It is only just half completed."

"Yeah…wanna run by me what the punishment even is? If not I could probably get Thor down here and then—"

Loki growls at him. "I will tell you, mortal, for you have helped me." He looks down at the hand over his stomach. "That and I do not have enough energy to appear somewhere else," he mutters darkly. The hand over his stomach is suddenly enveloped in a glowing red, and he lets out a guttural gasp of pain before gritting his teeth. "I was sentenced six months in Jotunheim," he grinds out, "which is my place of birth. I'm sure you are aware of my Frost Giant heritage?"

"Yeah, thankfully, or the fact that you were blue earlier would have been seriously concerning."

Loki nods. "During those six months I had no magic abilities. I was nothing more than a Frost Giant runt. They all knew it was I who had killed their leader—my father—and tried to destroy their kingdom, as well, so all those months I was doing nothing but _running_."

"Well, considering that you tried to destroy them…"

"Yes, I am well aware that I deserved every second of it, thank you. In any case, those six months were completely served as of yesterday. The reason that I appeared so suddenly in your lab is slightly unknown to me… All I know is that, the very second that those months were served, I disappeared from my home realm entirely. Did you notice how I was dressed?"

"No, just that you were blue. You disappeared too quickly."

"Yes, well, I was in the usual Frost Giant attire, which is…not very much. Those months, though, were only the first half of my punishment. The second half is that I will be spending an additional six months here on Midgard. Your leader knows about this. The colored man with one eye."

Tony's eyes narrow. "Fury? He knows about this?"

"Yes, that is his name! Director Nicholas Fury. My father—or, my adopted father—Odin spoke to him about it; how long ago I do not know. He is well aware of the…tampering…that has been done to my usual powers."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "Tampering? What sort of _tampering_?"

He gasps in pain again, yanking his hand away. Tony's eyes widen at the sight of Loki's stomach.

"The hole is smaller," he says, rapt.

"Observant of you," the god says darkly, placing his hand back. "Now, about the tampering. I cannot use my powers for true evil. That is why you do not have to be afraid of me."

Tony purses his lips. "Wanna run by me what true evil is, maybe?"

Loki attempts to roll his eyes, but it's cut off with a wince. "True evil is when I am doing something evil if I _can_. If somebody is bothering me and I try to kill them, it doesn't work. If I try to impale some mortal who is calling me names I shall not repeat, it is…switched around. I was unaware of the details, though, until very recently. That is what happened to me tonight. My plan to impale the mortal man was flipped around and I was impaled instead."

"So…technically…you did this to yourself?"

"Precisely. If I was trying to kill them to save another it would have worked, because that is not true evil. It is protecting another. I was not, though. I was simply protecting myself, and apparently that does not coun—" He cuts off with a look of such pain that Tony actually goes back over to him and helps him lay down.

"Just breathe," he says, pushing the mostly melted ice out of the way. "I get everything now, you can stop talking about it."

The god lets out the tiniest of whimpers. "Don't tell Thor that I'm here."

Tony forces himself not to laugh. The blonde god is hardly even ever down here, to be honest, and none of them have any way to contact him when he's not. "I won't," he says. Not when he comes back, either. Maybe.

The god nods, the glowing red slowly beginning to fade until there's nothing but a hand. The hole is closed, all back to normal in his normal pale skin color.

"You're going to be alright, then?" Tony asks.

Loki nods. "Just…just let me lie here a moment."

"And when that moment is over should I…kick you out?"

Loki had his eyes closed, but he cracks one open to glare a bit. "That moment is going to consists of the rest of the night, so a blanket would be lovely."

Tony rolls his eyes. "If you're going to sleep, at least get off the floor and use the couch on the other end of the room. You'll be in my way here and if anybody comes down they'll—"

"Understood. Help me."

Tony pulls him up carefully before they make a slow trek over to the couch, Tony only not completely paranoid about being killed because of Loki's punishment. Unless he was lying. He _is_ the God of Lies, after all… Dammit, now he's paranoid again.

He drapes a blanket over him, and the god is instantly out cold, so Tony just shudders a bit and goes back over to what he was doing in the first place. "Jarvis, keep your cams on him at all times, okay? I want to know when he stirs, what he talks about in his sleep, and _especially_ if he wakes up."

"Of course, sir. I'm watching him now."

"Good." He pulls out his cell phone and sits down in the rolling chair beside him before dialing Fury's private number.

"Stark," he growls out instantly. "How the hell did you get my private number?"

Tony rolls his eyes. "You should know by now to expect such things, director. Now, I need a few questions answered."

"And these questions can't wait until _morning_?"

"You get up at eight, right? Two in the morning here is eight in the morning somewhere else. No, these cannot wait."

He gives an angry sigh. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Did you ever have contact with Thor's father, Odin?"

"Yes."

"And he and you discussed what Loki's punishment was going to be?"

"…yes."

"So you know that he'll be on earth for six months without being able to do anything that's truly evil?"

"Yes and yes. Where did you learn these things, Stark? Have you been hacking into my—"

"No, even better. I got a visit from the little God of Mischief himself."

Fury is silent for a moment. "He appeared in your lab?"

"Yup."

"Is he still there?"

Tony knows better than that. "No, he popped out as soon as I helped him."

He can heard Fury grinding his teeth. "And what, pray tell, did you help him with?"

"Saved his life, I think. If gods can die, anyway. He didn't know the details to his own punishment, so when he tried to impale somebody with a metal pole it backfired and he impaled himself. He already fixed the hole up."

"And he had enough energy to leave?"

"I'm sorry, do I look like I have _any_ clue how magic works? I'm a scientist, not a nut. Don't ask me these questions, I'm interrogating _you_."

"And are you done with that?"

"Yes, I am, thank you. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't lying so I could make sure to tell the others that he's back and we don't need to go find him."

"You _do_ need to go find him."

Tony frowns. "Why? If he can't hurt anybody, what's the point?"

"The point is that I don't trust anybody, and the deal was that he stays under S.H.I.E.L.D. surveillance at all times for the next six months."

"You're going to keep him locked up for six months? Fury, he can't _do_ anything!"

"I said nothing about locking him up. He is only to have a constant escort."

Tony rolls his eyes. "You're treating him just like you treat Bruce. Like a monster. Quit being such an asshole and _let him be_." He hangs up.

Tony flips his phone around in his hand a few times, looking over at Loki, still fast asleep on his couch. "Jarvis?" he says.

"Yes, sir?"

"Delete all surveillance since Loki showed up. Don't record anything unless I say so. Just…tell me if he stirs."

"Right away, sir."

"Good." He pockets his phone and stands up from his chair, going back to what he was doing before. He doesn't get very far, though. There's a god sleeping on his couch and he expects to get some work done? As if.

He sighs, going over to the counter beside his fridge and pulling himself a glass of scotch before opening up the freezer part to get some ic—right, the ice is still melting on the floor. Great. He quick gets it and pushes it back into the freezer before taking the glass back over to his workbench, grabbing his rolling chair, and pushing it over to the couch. He places it the end that Loki's feet are and sets his glass on the floor before going to grab the book about the history of nuclear astrophysics that Bruce got him for his birthday last month. Then he plops down in the chair, throws his feet onto the arm of the couch, and just…waits.

**XxX**

_October 14…_

Tony groans as somebody shakes him awake. "Gertoff," he mutters, shoving whoever they are away.

"Tony, get _up_."

Tony sighs and rolls over, glaring up at Steve. "What is so important that you had to wake me up?" he asks.

"Fury's here to see you."

Tony sits up way too fast, so he flops back down until his head stops spinning before sitting up a bit slower. He's lying across the couch with the blanket that he placed over Loki now placed over him, his glass of scotch sitting empty on the floor. The chair is back over by his workbench, and the two halves of the metal pole that were once in Loki are now leaning up against the wall beside the door to the elevator and cleaned off of any blood.

"Uh-oh," he says, swinging off of the couch and shuffling over to them. He looks inside for any sort of note Loki may have put there, but there's nothing.

"What are you looking for?" Steve asks, pressing the up button on the elevator.

"Nothing," Tony says, walking in with him.

They're silent for the ride up to the next floor. He and Steve don't get along as well as they get along with the others, Steve because Tony reminds him of his past and Tony because his dad always used to talk about "Captain America" and he's actually just sort of annoying most of the time. They get along still, just…not all the time.

Steve leads him to the conference room of the mansion, wherein Fury and Natasha are the only ones inside. Steve comes in too, closing the door beside them and then locking it.

"Where is he, Stark?" Fury asks darkly.

Tony rubs his eyes. "I—who?"

"Don't play dumb with us, Tony," Natasha snaps.

Usually Tony and Natasha get along great, but these last two months have just been annoying. Whatever it is, Tony doesn't want to know.

"Oh, Loki?" he says, sitting down in a chair. "You guys have to give me a break, I literally woke up five minutes ago and I have a bad…" He trails off. He was going to say that he has a really bad hangover, but…he doesn't. Was that Loki's doing? That's odd. "I don't actually know where he is."

"You're not as good a liar as he is," Fury says, sitting down across from him. "_Where is he?_"

Tony rolls his eyes. "I don't know. Yeah, I lied to you last night and he was asleep on my couch when I called you, but now I'm serious. He's not here. I don't even know where he went. I sat in a chair with a book and some scotch, watched him, got some more scotch, and the next thing I knew I was being woken up by Steve on the same couch that Loki was last on. He probably put me there and then disappeared, all re-energized and shit."

Fury sighs angrily, leaning back in his chair. "Romanoff, I need the surveillance from—"

Tony laughs. "Yeah, there's a problem with the surveillance."

Fury's eyes narrow. "What sort of _problem_, Stark?"

"I deleted it from when Loki showed up and then told Jarvis not to record anything more until I told him otherwise."

Steve sighs behind him, Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose, and Fury releases a string of some of the most intricate cuss words that Tony has ever heard.

He just shrugs, wishing this was a real conference so that there was a plate of donuts on the table. He's hungry.

"So…can I go now?" he asks.

"No," Fury growls. "You are going to go out and _find_ him."

"_Find_ him? He could be _any_where! Besides, it wasn't my fault. He was asleep and I was literally watching him. If you want details then you can go talk to Jarvis about it. He remembers it all, he just didn't _keep_ it."

"Can't you just use your science to find him?" Steve asks.

Tony rolls his eyes and looks over at him. "Can't you use your _muscles_ to go find him? Steve, serioulsy, stop acting like this is the century you belong in and go back to saving people."

The look of hatred that Steve gives lets Tony know that he went too far, but he doesn't have time to apologize before he stomps out.

Natasha sighs and leans against the wall behind her.

"Find him, Stark," Fury says again.

"No." He stands. "He's _your_ problem. _You_ find him. And don't try threatening me. The worst you can do is kick me off the team, and you know that I don't give a _shit_ about the team. Do I look like a solider to you? Someone you can order around? In case you don't remember, _I don't play well with others_. So say the word and I'll go back to California, but you can never stop me from protecting people."

Fury looks calmly at Tony while Natasha rolls her eyes.

"Go back to your lab, Stark," he says at length, flitting his wrist. "If you believe that that's really all I can do to you then I'd like for you to believe it just a bit longer."

Tony grins, walking out without a word. He showers before going down to his lab, changing into holey jeans and an even holier t-shirt. Nobody's in the kitchen, so he just looks around until he manages to scrounge up a bag of Gold Fish, a few leftover slices of pizza, leftover Chinese order-in, and a bottle of water. He doesn't drink right in the morning (actually, what time _is_ it?), so water is always good.

Once he's all set up downstairs, he tells Jarvis that he can start recording everything again.

"Would you like a play-by-play of last night, sir?"

"Uh…yeah, sure, why not? Just give me when I fell asleep and then what he did when he woke up."

"Of course, sir. You fell asleep at three-thirty-seven and eighteen seconds in the morning, and Mr. Laufeyson awoke at six-forty-two and thirty-nine seconds. Upon waking he finished the rest of your glass of scotch, picked you up off the ground, placed you across the couch, spread the blanket over you, pushed the chair back to the workbench, and cleaned and placed the parts of the metal pole that you pulled out of him to lean against the wall before glancing at you once more and disappearing."

"Hmm," Tony says, shoving a handful of Gold Fish into his mouth. "That doesn't sound too difficult. Just showing me the same hospitality that I showed him." He grabs a slice of pizza. "I don't care too much to think about it."

"That's a good thing," a new voice says, and Tony almost drops the pizza onto his tools.

"What?" he says, turning to see Loki sitting regally on the couch. "You're back already?"

"I 'owe you', do I not?" the god asks, raising a single eyebrow. "I prefer to repay my debts before they are forgotten."

Tony looks up at Jarvis's sensors.

"The same drill, sir?" the AI asks.

Tony just rolls his eyes and nods. "Thank you, Jay." He looks back at Loki. "You might not want to be here. Fury tells me that the deal is that you're under his constant watch and control. If he finds you, you're fucked."

"Precisely why I am here," he says, clasping his hands together "You tell Fury that _you'll_ watch me even though I'll be in and out as I so choose, and I can help you with whatever it is you do in here."

Tony blinks at him before bursting into laughter. "You seriously think that he's going to let me watch you? He wouldn't trust me to guard a sack of bricks."

Loki shrugs. "Bricks can be rather difficult to manage, I assure you. You should be glad he does not trust you to do so."

Tony's eyebrows furrow. "I—what?"

Loki is suddenly in front of him, arm stretched out to shake his hand. "Do we have a deal, Tony Stark? I cannot hurt you or anyone else. I can barely cause you any trouble at all apart form my presence."

Tony stares at his hand before glaring up at Loki. "_No_," he says flatly. "It's not worth it."

Loki's hand tightens it into a fist before he retracts it. "Fine," he sneers, taking a few steps back. "Have it your way. But I'll be back, you know, and I'll make sure that I'm as much trouble to you as I can be even with_out_ being able to hurt you. You have no idea who you're dealing with." He's gone with the snap of his fingers.

Tony simply chuckles, tells Jarvis to bring the cams back on, and continues on with his day, not even a little bit worried about what Fury may do to him if he finds out about this later.

**OoOoOoO**

_STEVE  
October 14, after Fury's meeting for Tony…_

Steve sighs heavily, staring down at the punching bag he's just snapped off of its hook. Why does he always do that? Super strength can really be a problem sometimes.

"Geez, Steve," Clint says, coming over and elbowing him lightly. "That's the second one today!"

Steve presses his lips into a soft line and looks down at him. Steve is six-two, but Clint is only five-ten, so the top of Clint's head only comes up to about his nose. "_You_ join the war, fall in love, and then get yourself frozen for seventy years so that everybody you once knew is dead and tell me how _you_ feel about it."

Clint gives a slight wince. "I'll get you a new bag."

Steve chuckles a little as Clint picks one up to hook it up. "Thanks."

"Wanna hit something real for a while?" Clint asks, leaning his elbowing against the bag in such a way that he doesn't just push it out of the way and fall.

Steve sighs again, looking down at the wraps around his knuckles. Clint used to hang out with only Natasha, not trusting any of the others, until about four and a half months ago (it's been six months since the "Loki incident"; Steve would call it the "war" like the others do, but he's been in a war, and this was a completely different kind of fight than a war… He'd call it a battle, maybe, but not an entire war). He truly befriend Steve first because they had a common interest: working out. Over the months the two of them have become very close friends—close enough that Clint told him about his life in the circus with his brother before running away, even, and where he learned his bow and arrow techniques.

They box with each other (occasionally accompanied by Tony, who recruited himself and Natasha to teach all of the other members—being Tony, Steve, Clint, Bruce, and occasionally Thor—how to box or just better techniques if they already knew, except Natasha, who's the best hand-to-hand fighter that Steve knows), go jogging, and all sorts of other fitness exercises. Natasha used to come in with them a lot of the time, too, so they could practice fighting against two people at once, but lately…well, she's just been keeping to herself. Steve and Clint haven't talked about it much, but what they have discussed they haven't figured out any reason for why she's been so reclusive. As indrawn as she tends to be about personal things, she's still very outgoing and likes to crack off jokes with anyone who happens to be around at the time.

Every once in a while they end up shopping together for a new set of street clothes, sometimes accompanied by Tony so he can "make sure" that Steve doesn't get anymore "hideous lumber jack shirts", or even go out and see a movie, which is sometimes accompanied by Bruce to force him to get out of the house for some fresh air, or even Thor to get the god used to the outside world and to maybe stop using the words "thou" and "valiant" and "mayhaps" (Steve isn't completely used to everything yet, but at least he's figured out by now how to use an iPhone).

"To be honest," he says, starting to undo the wraps, "I should just take a break. I need something to eat."

"_To be honest_," Clint says to him, walking to put away his own things, "I think you just need some sleep."

No, I just… I'll just have more nightmares." He puts his wraps away.

Clint gives him a sympathetic look. "They're not getting any better?"

He shakes his head no. "Not at all. I mean, I suppose I should be glad they're not getting any worse, at least."

Clint swings around to stand in front of him. "Still don't like the idea of message therapy?"

Steve rolls his eyes a little. "You're not allowed to recommend something you wouldn't do either."

"Hey man, I've done it _twice_. That is some great shit."

Steve gives a good natured eye roll, now, zipping up his duffle bag to throw into the corner. The fitness room is in the mansion, after all, so he never has to take his stuff out unless he wants to wash something. "I'm still not going."

"Okay, fine, I'll recruit Natasha to do it."

"Clint, the only thing Natasha has done involving me lately is glare."

"She glares at me too, you know."

He sighs again. "It really bothers me that we don't know what's wrong with her yet. She's just been so…" He waves his hands, looking for a word.

"Bitchy?" Clint supplies?"

Steve purses his lips. "For the most part, yes."

Clint shrugs. "Maybe she's jealous."

Steve frowns down at him. "Jealous of what? That you ask me to work out with you instead of her? It's only because—"

Steve isn't ready for it. Not at all. So when Clint pushes up and kisses him, Steve doesn't even manage to react until he's pulled away.

"Whatever you were going to say," he whispers, seemingly so far away but so close at the same time, "it was going to be wrong. I had to make sure you knew the real reason that I ask you instead of her."

Steve stands there, staring down at him. It looks like Clint is debating whether or not he should run away and hide. Steve can't decide if he wants him to or not. Steve just…he doesn't know what to do. He's used to people, but not by _this_ much. He's been in love with Peggy. It doesn't matter that she's dead, he's—

This time, when Clint kisses him, he gives Steve plenty of time to react—and Steve's brilliant response is to stand still even longer. But then Clint whispers. It's not even Steve's name. Just a simple "hey". And somehow…it works.

Steve has seen Tony kiss people, but he doubts that's how he should go about _this_. Clint encloses his arms around Steve's neck, and Steve reaches out tentatively to his sides, wrapping his arms around his waist.

Clint whispers again, but this time it _is_ a name: "Steve…"

And Steve falls. It doesn't matter that he was in love or that Natasha is going to be twice as "bitchy", because he's going to fall for someone completely different, and he doesn't want to do a single thing about it.

**OoOoOoO**

_NATASHA  
October 14…_

Natasha glares from where she's standing outside of the gym door, leaning against the wall. She's not being bitchy, she's just… Yeah, okay, she's being bitchy. It's not all her fault, though. It's not really Clint's fault, either, he just…

She sighs, walking away from the door so she doesn't have to listen to Clint and Steve kiss anymore. She doubts they'll actually have sex. Steve is far too old fashioned for that. Then again, he _is_ kissing a man, and that's not exactly forties protocol. It doesn't really matter, though, Natasha supposes.

Two months ago, she and Clint had just gotten back from an intense mission in Budapest. They relived both good and bad memories, but as they were laughing and unpacking Natasha's things, they were only focusing on the good. Natasha doesn't know exactly how it happened, but Clint started kissing her, and now he's the only one that Natasha hasn't killed after sleeping with. It wasn't romantic, which she knows. Just two friends who felt good about everything and didn't want it to end. Natasha has been on birth control pills for years now, but…

She sighs again, dropping her head into her hands and pushing her hair out of her face. It would be her, wouldn't it? The one-percent that the pill doesn't protect. This is what she has to go through to get rid of the red in her ledger? Pregnancy? She can't. Not in her line of work. It's too dangerous. Natasha will be out for months, and she can't do that. She's one of the best agents that Fury's got, dammit!

Agent Hill (the new handler of the Avengers members) and Fury are the only ones that know about it. She has thirty-seven days left if she's considering an abortion, but she's just not sure if that's what she wants.

She growls, punching the wall of her bedroom now that she's safely inside of it. Why _isn't_ she sure that's what she wants? She's a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, for fucks sake! She can't have a baby! She'll have to completely change her profession! Or adoption, but who would she trust enough to take it? She needs to find somebody fast if that's what she's going to do…

She sighs again, flopping face-first on her bed and reaching down to her cell phone to call the only person she knows who can help her. This woman was pregnant about three years ago, but she chose an abortion, and Natasha needs help. She hates to admit it, but she does, and she's not about to talk to anyone on her team.

"Hello?" the woman answers.

Natasha takes a deep breath. "Pepper, it's Natasha. I need your help."

* * *

End chapter notes: I want to say that it should be assumed that Pepper's abortion was Tony's kid, but three years ago seems like before they were dating… Either way pretend it is anyway XD


	2. Chapter 2

[Chapter summary: In which Tony supports breast cancer, Loki coerces Tony into his usual mischief, and Natasha still has some deciding to do.]

**Chapter Two**

_TONY  
October 15…_

The first thing that Tony notices when he wakes up is that his chest is not flooded by the pale blue light of his arc reactor, but instead a sort of pink.

"What the—Jarvis, are you seeing this?"

Jarvis doesn't answer, though, before another does. "I hope you like pink, Stark."

Tony groans at Loki's voice, followed by said demon coming into view in said colored light. "_This_ is what you came up with for not helping you?"

Loki smirks, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Seeing that I can't do anything big enough that actually harms you, I find it quite fitting that you're the type of person that _ignores_ those big things and is instead more annoyed by the things that are far littler."

Tony pushes up on his elbows. "I refuse to help you and you turn my life light _pink_?"

He gives a one-shouldered shrug. "It's enough to get questions, and I have managed to learn that you do not like them. Do what you wish with an explanation that does not involve me, Stark. I wish you the best of luck." And he's gone.

Tony groans, dropping his head back. "Jarvis, why didn't you wake me up when he showed up?"

He's answered by silence, so he frowns.

"Jarvis?"

Still nothing.

He purses his lips. "Uh… Un-mute?"

"I am terribly sorry, sir. He imitated your voice and muted me, and I could do nothing against your previous programming."

Tony sighs, flopping back down. "It's okay, Jay. What time is it?"

"It is ten-oh-seven in the morning, sir."

Tony nods, sitting up again. "I guess I'll just get up, then."

"And what will you tell those about your arc reactor, sir?"

Tony glares down at the light and mutters, "That I'm showing my support for those with breast cancer."

**XxX**

_13 Days Later  
October 28…_

"That. Is. _It_!" Tony screams in the mostly-darkness of his bedroom as his arc reactor is a pulsing strobe light that goes through all the colors of the rainbow. "This is the _last_ _time_!" He sits up, glaring at the figure of Loki giggling on the floor. "Jarvis, lights!" The lights flood the room, and Loki grins up at him, the laughter still in his eyes. "I am sick of this!" Tony yells at him. "You've changed the color of my life light, you've turned my alcohol into garden snakes, you've swapped out all my normal condoms with ones that glow in the dark, you've wrapped all of my cars in bubble wrap and doused the insides with rainbow glitter, _and_ you locked me out of my computer for a day with nothing but your winking asshole of a face on the screen! This is going to stop _today_!"

Loki smirks, pushing a strand of hair out of his eyes. "You know what I want, Stark."

Tony grits his teeth, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He used to sleep naked, but with Loki always sneaking around he's been in boxers. "Remind me."

Loki chuckles. "I want _you_ to be my watch-dog. Fury says I have to be under twenty-four-seven surveillance and I want _you_ to do the surveying. I can be an asset, Stark—I know I can. Thor once told Jane that, while your world views science and magic differently, our realm views them as one in the same. My magic can help you. I can assemble things with a snap of my fingers, and I can levitate objects into your hands if you can't let go but need something on the opposite side of the room."

Tony's anger is subsiding, but very slowly. "I have _Bruce_ for that."

"No, you have a resting time bomb. I have watched the doctor in these last days and the most he has done is sleep more than all the rest of you combined." He frowns. "If you exclude Agent Romanoff, at least. She has been behaving rather odd than what I remember her as."

Tony gives a small eye roll. "Much as I love talking about Natasha, she is not important as of now. Fix my light and we'll _talk_."

Loki grins, standing up and going over to him. He presses his palm to the arc reactor and, whispering words in a language that's probably Norse, sends a burst of energy into Tony's chest. When he pulls his hand away, the light is the blue that Tony created it to be.

He sighs happily, tapping at it. "Much better. Now don't move. I have to get dressed."

When he is, he sits back on his bed, glaring at Loki.

"What would you like to talk about?" Loki asks.

Tony sighs angrily. "You're repulsive."

Loki tilts his head slightly. "I never harmed you."

"You would if you could."

"Would I?"

"You threw me out of a window!"

Loki rolls his eyes. "You were being annoying."

"I offered you a drink and you denied it!"

"Maybe I didn't like what you offered me."

Tony frowns, standing up. "Oh yeah?" He walks straight over to where he keeps his hard liquor so Steve can't hide all of it like Fury tells him to do. "What _do_ you like?"

Loki is suddenly right behind him. "You offered me scotch, but I'm more of a vodka kind of god…and occasionally rum."

Tony smirks. "I have both."

Loki nods. "The former, then."

Tony pours two glasses, 'cause hey, why not?

Loki raises his eyebrows in thanks, downing half of the glass right away, before they get back to the bed.

"Now what?" Tony asks darkly.

"That's up to you," Loki says with a shrug. "You can continue to drink garden serpents and be a party light or you can pretend to watch me."

Tony glares at him as they drink, debating what the hell he's supposed to do. He can _choose_ to have Loki around on occasion without changing the color of is life light or leaving cryptic riddles of where he's hidden all his tools. Just the occasional popping in to use a little magic…

Tony gives another angry sigh. "I don't know."

"What do you _want_?"

"I _want_ you to leave me alone."

The god takes a deep breath, just barely narrowing his eyes. "You have one more chance, Stark, before I bring balloon animals to life to lie in wait for you to try and sleep before popping by your ears."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "That has _got_ to be true evil."

"Give me an _answer_, Stark."

Tony groans, standing up and pushing a hand through his hair. "I don't _know_, dammit!" He sets down his glass on the nightstand and paces away. "I don't even want to be here! I happen to like being a hero and fuck-ass _Fury_ roped me in to joining a _team_. Bruce always sleeps, Steve and I always argue, Natasha is being _weird_, Pepper is too busy running my company, Thor is too happy, and Clint…" He sighs. "Clint is the only one I don't have a bone to pick with because we don't really talk." He looks down at the carpet and turns around. "I'm surrounded by people I'm barely friends with." He looks up at Loki, who's now leaning back on his elbow and one leg bent up so his foot can rest on the edge of the bed. "You could at least add a bit of a spark to it."

The god grins, holding up a hand. A small flame lights in his hand when he snaps his fingers. "A spark in_deed_."

Tony sighs, grabbing his glass and sitting back down beside him. "And that away, you could…" He trails off, looking back at him. "Can you hurt people on _accident_?"

Loki shakes his head. "Not even that. It still only backfires."

Tony nods, rolling his glass against his forehead to feel the cool of the ice. "Do you _want_ to hurt people?"

The magician gives a stressed sigh. "Probably."

"Anyone more than everybody else?"

He averts his eyes. "No one you know."

"Try me."

"He's called 'the Other'. He was the Chitauri leader."

Tony frowns. "You want to hurt the one who gave you your army?"

Loki gives him a dark look and sits up straight. "I don't want to talk about it."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Do _you_ want to talk about where you got _this_?" He taps the arc reactor. "No. So drop it."

Loki has been hitting Tony's nerves for days, so there's no way that Tony's going to let this opportunity go. "How about," he says, leaning closer to him with a smirk, "_I_ tell you _my_ story, and then you tell me _yours_. A bit of give and take, yeah?"

Loki gives him a look that's still sad with his narrowed eyes. "Does it really matter?"

Tony sighs, looking away again. "No, I suppose not."

When Loki stays silent, Tony looks over at him with a frown. The god is just _staring_ at him.

"What?" Tony says, cocking an eyebrow.

The next thing he knows, Loki has his hands on the sides of Tony's face and is pressing their lips together.

Tony instantly throws himself backwards, his glass (empty, thankfully) rolling out of his hand and onto the carpet, and himself holding his arms up to keep Loki away. "Whoa there, big boy. You are _not_ my ty—"

But Loki just brushes his arms aside and bends over him again. He doesn't kiss him, but he gets really damn close. "Have you ever been with a man, Tony Stark?"

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "No."

Loki smirks. "Shame."

He kisses him again, and this time Tony has nowhere to go. He refuses to kiss Loki back, at least. No way. He loves kisses, but men just aren't his style. He likes boobs. He likes something he can sink his fingers into. He likes—

He opens his mouth to let out a moan at the sudden pressure between his legs, accidentally letting Loki slip in his tongue.

"Fuck," he breathes. He's not denying that the kneading feels good. It would feel good no matter who's doing it. It's about what comes later, though, that Tony doesn't want. The sex. He could probably figure out how to pitch, but Loki is _certainly_ not a catcher… He's too controlling.

Tony realizes that Loki has pulled away to stare down at him.

"Say something," the god says.

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "Like _what_?"

"Anything."

Tony lets out a deep breath through his nose. "I don't want to have sex with you."

Loki grins before bending down to trail his tongue over a strip of Tony's neck before sucking in, pulling out another small moan. "I'm sure that's not true," he whispers, going to nibble lightly at his earlobe.

Tony frowns, no matter how good Loki's mouth feels. "I'm pretty sure it is, becau—ahh, fuck, stop touching me there!"

The magician actually giggles a little, and while one of his hands is still between Tony's legs, the other slips up his shirt. "I still don't believe you."

Tony grits his teeth, telling himself that he's _not_ going to moan again. Loki smells like leather and aftershave (magicians shave? Tony figured he'd just snaps his fingers) and _not_ like a woman. "_I don't want you_," he growls.

"Mmm, is that why you're digging your nails into my sides?"

Tony realizes that, yeah, he's got his hands gripping against Loki's hips, and he quick snaps his hands away. "Yeah, exactly why," he says, glaring up at him.

But then Loki is kissing his mouth again, and Tony's hands go right back to his sides. Unlike his own shirt and jeans, there's no place for Tony to slip his hands against skin… The god literally has long pants, high boots, and long sleeves. How the fuck is he supposed to get around all of that?

Loki moves both hands to Tony's shirt, pushing it up so that they have to separate just long enough for it to be tossed to the floor, and Tony finds that his breath is coming even shakier as Loki's fingers dance down his chest. Even with the pleasure, though, Tony is able to turn his face away.

Loki frowns down at him. "I want you, Stark," he says in a sort of mutter.

"That's not it," he says, dropping his head back to look at the blue censor strip around his room. "Jarvis, the surveillance?"

"Already done, sir," the AI replies.

Tony grins. "I love you, Jay."

"I'm well aware, sir. If you would like, you can call it 'Code Steve-V' for future purposes. That way it can be said without being suspicious around anyone at any time."

"Hmm," Loki says, looking up at the censors. "I think I love him, too."

Tony grins up at him. "Yeah? I made him myself."

The god smirks. "No wonder I like you more." He bends back down to kiss him again, but Tony turns his head again. "_Now_ what?" he growls.

Tony purses his lips. "Why did you kiss me?"

Loki tilts his head slightly. "Does it really matter?"

Tony instantly understands, and he can't help the smile that spreads across his face. Loki is used to being interrogated by everyone and his brother (well, adopted brother), so he must have kissed him because Tony just dropped the topic about why he wants to hurt the leader of the Chitauri. "No, I suppose not," he says.

Loki kisses him again, and Tony grips tighter to his hips so that they can grind against each other more (who actually wears this much leather anymore, though? Good lord). He even sucks in on the gods tongue, which totally gets the exact reaction he was looking for. If he knows how to please himself, he certainly knows the basic details of how to please another man.

"You wear way too much crap," he says as Loki is sucking on a nipple.

He looks up at him. "I can fix that."

"I certainly hope so."

Tony assumed that would mean a snap of his fingers and all of their clothes would be off, but no, Loki actually has to crawl off of him and begin the undressing process.

"I can change _what_ I'm wearing," he says as Tony stares, "but I can't use magic to take it off completely. I can alter the appearance of things, but I can't make anything disappear entirely. It's a completely different process."

Tony nods, followed by the realization that now is a prime time to get his own clothes off. Loki is actually very fast at getting all of his armor off, so even though Tony only had to get jeans and boxers off, he's hardly lying down on the bed to wait for him at all.

"I just put all of that on, you know," Tony says, nipping at Loki's bottom lip.

The god breathes a laugh but says nothing as he gazes hungrily over Tony's body.

"You look like you're going to eat me," he says, grinning up at him.

Loki raises his eyebrows in thought. "That's not a bad idea."

Tony has never been more surprised at getting a blowjob. He didn't expect whatsoever for Loki to bend down and take him just like that. But hell, he'd let the guy do it all over again, because very few things beat having a mouth around your dick.

Tony swears he's going to come, but Loki pulls away instead, pushing Tony's legs up so that his knees are bent up. He bites at his inner thigh, and Tony isn't sure if he should miss the old pleasure or call out for the new, but he doesn't have time, because the new abruptly becomes another old when Loki's tongue probes between the cheeks of his ass.

The god grins up at the sound that Tony makes. "I told you that you'd like it."

Tony manages to roll his eyes. "I saw your dick, Lo', and it is _completely_ different than your tongue."

Instead of answering, though, Loki just goes right back to work with his tongue. It feels like he's working it for ages, but every second feels as good as the last. When he finally pulls away, he has that same stupid smirk on his face.

"Would you like to know something?"

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "What?"

He holds up a hand with three fingers sticking up. "I just fit all of these inside of you."

Tony actually sits up, staring down at him. "What? Really?"

Loki nods, pushing into his own sitting position. "You didn't even notice."

"But…but ho—you know what? No. I don't care. I am so not kissing you after that."

Loki smirks. "Suit yourself. Do you have any lubrication?"

Tony nods, leaning over to his nightstand drawer. He _has_ done this with women, after all. He hands the bottle to Loki, but the god just sets it down before pushing Tony back on his back, bending over to suck at his neck some more.

"You are a total neck whore," Tony says with a laugh, his arms around Loki so his hands can squeeze at his ass.

Loki just hums in reply, and it's about then that Tony realizes the god is coating himself with the lube without looking.

"Should I roll over?" Tony asks.

"No," Loki says, sitting up. "I want to see your face."

Tony's not sure if that should turn him on more or not, so he just nods. Loki positions himself against Tony, just barely swirling his cockhead around the entrance.

"Deep breath," he says. "Hold it."

Tony does, finding that Loki's eyes are actually calming him.

"And…" He presses lightly. "Breathe out slow."

As Tony does, Loki actually pushes in. Yeah, the feeling of being full is unwelcome at first, and there's the tiniest of stings, but after Loki holds all the way in for a few moments, Tony realizes that it's really not that bad.

"Keep breathing," the god says as he begins to pull out slowly.

Tony realizes that Loki's hands are holding his, and Tony is probably cutting off the other man's blood flow. When he starts to let go, though, Loki holds right back. He bends down over him, resting his forehead against his shoulder.

"You feel good," he says huskily. "You alright?"

Never did Tony envision being asked that by the god, and _certainly_ not this way, so he nods, because yeah, he's totally alright. "Move," he grinds out.

As Loki does he kisses Tony's neck, and gods, the sound of someone moaning into your ear because of you is the greatest thing.

Well, for a minute, anyway. The greatest thing is actually the stars that explode behind his eyes when Loki pumps in at _just_ the right angle.

"Mmm, knew you'd like that," Loki breathes before biting down.

At all of the new sensations (the smell of a man, the feeling of being moved inside of, and whatever those _stars_ were), Tony comes before Loki does, and Loki continues to pump into him a few more times before he climaxes as well.

Loki pulls out and drops down beside him, one arm draped over his chest and his mouth breathing into his hair.

"That was your prostate," he says. "Women don't have one."

Tony nods, rolling his head to look at Loki's neck since the god is taller. "How many times have you done that?"

"I'm over a thousand years old, Tony. I've done it hundreds of times with both sexes and then some."

Tony frowns up at his face. "Did you just call me Tony?"

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "I just climaxed inside of you. I think I have the right to call you by your first name."

Tony chuckles. "My first name is actually Anthony."

Loki licks his lips in thought. "I like Tony better."

Tony nods. "So do I. Jay, what time is it?"

"Only three-fourteen in the morning, sir."

"Hmm…" He looks up at Loki again. "Are you staying over?"

The gods lets out a deep breath. "I'm not much for spooning."

"You're talkin' to the king of leaving people alone in bed, Lo'. At least you won't have a mouthful of hair before I fall asleep."

Loki nods. "Roll over, then."

Jarvis turns the lights off as he does, and Loki pulls the blankets over them, tucking Tony in.

"How can you fall asleep with that light on?" he asks about the arc reactor. "When I sleep the room has to be as dark as my soul."

Tony can't help but laugh. "I guess I've just gotten used to it."

"Hmm… Yes, well, goodnight."

Tony is ready for the bid to sleep, but the kiss against his shoulder is certainly not a part of that. But he just says goodnight back, because he's not facing the right away to kiss him back. Shame, too. He tastes good.

**XxX**

_October 29…_

Tony wakes up remembering everything, so when he stretches out he's surprised that he comes in no contact with Loki's body. He forces his eyes open and looks over the bed, frowning when nobody is there.

"Is this what it's like for the women I sleep with?" he mutters to himself.

But suddenly Loki sticks his head up from the floor, his hair sticking out in every direction known to man.

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "Did you fall off the bed?"

Loki narrows his eyes. "I was _pushed_, actually."

Tony has the decency to look sheepish. "Oh."

The god crawls back up, slipping under the strewn covers and straight into Tony's arms. "You owe me."

Tony's eyebrows rise. "_I_ owe _you_? I don't think so. I agreed to pretend to watch you _and_ let you top. _You_ owe _me_."

"Not anymore."

"And why _not_?"

"Because the Captain came by to check on you and I not only turned my armor into female clothes, but I transformed into the female that would be wearing them. I could have just let him see it all."

Tony sighs, closing his eyes. "Thanks. Are we even, then?"

"Yes, but I want something anyway."

Tony opens his eyes and looks down at him. "Like _what_?"

He shrugs. "I don't know yet. I'll think of something."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Jay, the time?"

"Ten-forty-six, sir."

Tony groans. "I need food."

"_First_ you need to call Fury."

Tony just groans again. "This is going to _suck_. Jarvis, call the man. Loki, stay silent."

Loki nods as the dial tones through the room, followed by Fury:

"Let me guess," he growls. "You haven't found him yet."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I never said I'd look for him, did I? No. So you'll be happy to know that I know _exactly_ where he is."

Fury is silent for a moment. "What's the catch, Stark?"

Tony grins. The Director knows him so well. "He needs somebody to be with him at all times, right? I want to be that person."

More silence. "_Why_?" he asks darkly.

"I want his magic. He can help me with any project or research I'm doing."

"And you trust that he'll _actually_ help you?"

Tony grins down at Loki, who's being completely immature and imitating him in silence—he even has a hand over his eye like an eye patch. "It was his idea, actually."

"He's _with_ you?"

"Yup."

Fury sighs angrily. "Maybe you trust him, but why should I trust _you_?"

"Because no matter who you choose, Loki is going to hang around me, so you might as well hire somebody you're already paying."

Fury growls again. "The problem, Stark, is that I _don't_ trust you."

"Fine, don't pick me. Don't come running back, though, when whoever you choose decides to quit."

Fury is silent for _ages_. "One week, Stark," he eventually says. "One week to prove that you can actually do this job before I completely trust you."

Tony grins, but it fades away when he realizes that Loki is hugging him. Has Tony _ever_ gotten a hug? He doesn't think so… No, wait, he got one from P a year ago.

"Yeah, okay," he says. "One week. Got it."

"I'm going to recruit everyone on your team and then some to check up on you, you understand? _Both_ of you will be on high alert for the next seven days, starting today. Don't blow it." He hangs up.

Tony chuckles, not caring about the absentminded way that Loki is playing with his hair. Everything about his life is going to change with him around, so why not his personal space issues, too?

"Know what this means?" he asks.

"What?" Loki replies.

"I _actually_ have to watch you for a week.

Loki grins. "That doesn't sound _too_ bad…" He rolls over to straddle him, bending down to give Tony one of the deepest kisses he's ever gotten.

That's when there's a knock on the door.

"Shit," Tony breathes, both him and Loki spinning around to stand. Loki disappears into the bathroom while Tony pulls up his boxers and then wraps his blanket around himself before going over to the door.

"_What_?" he mutters to Natasha.

She narrows her eyes. "Are you naked?"

"I have boxers on."

"Only those with Loki?"

"He sort of just _showed_ up, you know? I didn't have any time to get dressed."

She rolls her eyes and pushes passed him. "Where is he?"

The gods walks out of the bathroom then, dressed back in his excessive leathers and buckles. "Good morning, Agent Romanova."

She stares at him, seemingly without emotion. Can it be? Is she back to normal? "It's Romanoff, now," she snaps. Damn. "Steve said that Tony had a girl over, too. Where's she?"

Tony manages not to panic, but only because Loki grins over at the bathroom door.

Precisely then, another figure comes out. It's a woman with long blonde hair and brown eyes, dressed in an icy blue top, tight white pants, and gold heels. She throws her arms up and around Loki's neck. "You are _way_ more attractive than Tony, but he has a lot more money, so we should totally have a three-way."

Tony grins, Loki pretends to be sickened by the "mortal", and Natasha rolls her eyes again.

"I'll take her out," Natasha mutters, grabbing her upper arm.

"Ooh," the female clone says, giving Natasha a once-over. "Forget the three-way, honey. You busy right now?"

When they're gone, Tony shuts the door and bursts into laughter. "Is that you?" he manages to ask. "A clone or something?"

Loki smirks and nods. "She'll disappear once Romanoff has let her go."

Tony chuckles, his laughter calmed down. "That's brilliant. Do you think she's gonna come back?"

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "My clone?"

"No, no, Natasha."

The god smirks. "I really doubt it."

"Then breakfast can wait a _little_ longer."

**OoOoOoO**

_STEVE  
October 29…_

The look on Tony's face when he and Loki walk into the kitchen shows that whatever face _Steve_ is making is priceless. He knows what's going on, it just doesn't feel right. He feels like he should be using his coffee mug as a self-defense weapon.

"Calm down, Cap," Tony says, rolling his eyes. "We're just getting food."

"Just getting food," Clint mutters as he disappears out of the door.

Steve sighs and goes after him, ignoring the creepy look that Loki gives him. Natasha is who knows where, and Bruce is…also somewhere, probably still sleeping. Steve would be too if he had to deal with the thought of the Hulk.

"Hey," Steve says, grabbing Clint's hand before he gets too far. Clint yanks away, but he does stop walking.

"I don't care _if_ he can't hurt anyone," he snaps. "He took over my _mind_ and made me _kill_ people, Steve. I can't just stand by and let him _dig through the fucking cupboards_."

Steve nods, holding his arms out. "I know, Clint. I've got you."

Clint mashes his lips together and leans his forehead against Steve's chest, and the blonde rests his hands against his shoulders. After their kiss in the gym…well, there have been a lot since then. They haven't gotten passed their shirts coming off in the last two weeks, but Steve is pretty sure that Clint is okay with that just as much as Steve is. The assassin knows that Steve is from the forties, so the blonde is used to traditions. Clint has his own commitment issues, so slow is their way to go. They're also keeping their relationship a secret, but that's mostly just because they don't feel like explaining it. They'll get to it eventually.

"It's okay," Steve says quietly, squeezing his hands before letting go. "He can't hurt us, so maybe we'll just hurt him."

Clint looks up at him with a sad smile. "Yeah?"

Steve presses his lips into a soft line. "Okay, so we can't actually _hurt_ him, but I'm sure we could pull a prank or two."

Clint cocks an eyebrow. "Pull pranks on the _God_ of Mischief? That's not even safe while he _can't_ hurt us."

"Why not? I bet he's never had someone play his own game against him before. We could smoke him."

Clint grins. "You're the greatest, you know?"

Steve smirks down at him. "I do."

**OoOoOoO**

_NATASHA  
October 29…_

Natasha smashes her fists into the nose of her target, almost smiling at the sickening crunch.

She's pregnant.

She swings her leg out and knocks him to the ground, grabbing his head on the way down and slamming it against her knee.

She's going to have a baby.

She dives around to the next guy and smashes his face between her legs to knock him down, bending one knee to wrap so she can spin them both on the way and snap his neck in the process.

She's going to have to be taken out of the field. Should she tell the others? She shouldn't. She can't. What will they say? It doesn't matter that much, she just…she's afraid of what Clint will say.

The third and final man starts to run from her instead of fight, but Natasha beats him to it by swinging up to kick him in the back to send him stumbling forward before she knocks him over. She lands on top of him and punches him in the face to knock him out again…and again…and—

"AGENT!"

Natasha is barely able to stop herself from throwing another punch. She takes a deep breath and stands up, shaking her hands to get some of the blood off. Her knee is going to need some scrubbing, too.

"Sorry," she says quietly, looking over at the handler that was assigned to her (and the other Avenger's) after Coulson's death, Maria Hill. Natasha knew her before and she used to be Fury's right-hand, but the Avenger's need someone tough, and Hill has got that nailed.

"Fury told you he wanted _all_ of them alive, Romanoff," she says. "Don't make me take you out of the field early."

Natasha glares slightly. She can't help it. "That won't be necessary, ma'am," she grinds out. "I'll keep myself in check."

Hill eyes her steadily as the other agents around them move to gather the three bodies, one of them dead. "I hope so."

Natasha fingers her stomach as the body beside her is picked up. She already decided that she's not having an abortion. She's an assassin, but she just can't. That's what she's telling herself and what she told Fury and Hill, anyway. Her real reason is because Pepper said it was one of the worst mistakes she ever made and that she regrets throwing away a life so easily. She mostly did it because she knew that Tony would be a terrible father (she said he might be okay now, but certainly not at the time), but also because she knew that _she_ didn't want a baby anyway.

But what will Natasha do? Will she keep it or give it up for adoption? She hasn't gotten that far yet. What if she does keep it? Will it be a boy or a girl? What will she name it? Maybe Daniela if it's a girl…she can call her Danny for short. Maybe Clayton if it's a boy…she can call him Clay for short. Maybe Lilia or Austin or Tiana or Jeffery or…something else. Will it like her? Will it like Clint? Will Clint even let it be known that it's his? What if he doesn't…? What if he runs? Clint is good at running and hiding. He's an assassin _and_ a spy, just like Natasha. They know how to run…to hide…to stay away forever. Natasha would never forgive him. But…will she ever forgive herself?

* * *

End chapter notes: Okay I'm sorry but the line where Loki is shoving his tongue into Tony's ass? I had NO idea how to word that. It was making it sound too forward or risk sounding like 50 Shades of Gray ("He stuck his tongue in _there_!" Good lord), so I chose the blunt woo


	3. Chapter 3

[Chapter summary: In which Tony has his own shit going down, Loki understands, and Natasha has a proposition for her favorite super soldier.]

**Chapter Three**

_LOKI  
6 Weeks Later  
December 10…_

Apparently this month on Midgard is important to the humans because it is Christmas. Some believe that the Christ of the Christian faith (and some others) was born in this month, but a lot of other people don't believe it at all and just like getting presents and decorating things. Mortals are odd enough with those things, but the fact that the mortal _heroes_ have hired people to decorate the outside of their own mansion is odd in the fact that they haven't decorated a smidge of the inside yet. Loki knows that Tony doesn't care because he's an atheist and has everything he wants already, but the others just haven't because they've been busy protecting the city in the snow.

They're all so…funny. Absolutely none of them have any regard for their own safety in battle. They dive at the enemy like they don't even care if they die. Loki knows that they do care, though. Tony may be depressed sometimes, but he likes himself too much for that. Banner can't even if he wanted to, the poor man. Romanoff wouldn't because she's pregnant—Loki knew the moment he saw her. He's _been_ pregnant. He knows the look in a person's eyes. Rogers wouldn't because he's too traditional, being from the 1940's. And Barton…well, he's just not really the suicide type. Besides, he and Rogers are "together" now. Loki hasn't felt like figuring out the details yet, but he's walking in on them twice (once in the gym and another in the kitchen; he didn't feel like being talked to about it later, so he just pretended not to notice.). He went into both rooms with Tony too, of course (though he and Loki had first agreed that Tony would _pretend_ to watch him, the god has been around for more often than not. The work in the lab is simply fascinating, and it's not like Loki has much else to do since he can't take over the world without hurting people), but the man was too busy talking to notice anything.

Tony is brilliant, but by the Allfather, he can be _annoying_. He's a bloody good fuck, though, so it's all worth it. Loki's not sure how he managed to seduce him the first time, really… Tony is very dominant. He likes things done his way. It's a problem because Loki is the same. They argue rather often, especially about stupid things like how long they should keep their fingernails or what sheets to put on the bed. The cameras in Tony's room are private, but he likes to have Jarvis turn them off whenever they're "doing" anything anyway. Loki doesn't much care if anybody finds out about their almost nightly shack-ups, but Tony's made him promise to keep his mouth shut about it. Loki was sure the man wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself even after that, but if they're not in the bedroom then Tony will _not_ touch him. Nobody suspects a thing, and that's helped since Loki sleeps on a mattress in Tony's room so Jarvis can keep an eye on him when he's sleeping—that's what the others think, anyway. Loki definitely wants to hurt him on occasion, but he's forced to just punch holes in the walls instead. Tony just giggles every time he does because he knows Loki would rather do it to him and he _can't_.

"Gods, why do you smell so good?" Tony breathes, his face buried in Loki's neck and his hands roaming over his bare chest.

Loki breathes a laugh, his hands squeezing the other man's ass as he's lying on top of him. "All that burnt rubber from your little explosion turning you on, then?"

Tony snorts, pulling away to look down at him from where he's on top. "At least you didn't step in a bucket of motor oil."

Loki grins, but it's cut off when Tony finally sinks down on top of him, subbing from on top. Tony was good the first time, but he _was_ new to the male/male sex, so he could have been better. Now, though, he's _good_. Loki's taught him all the right moves and he's also made up some of his own. They've done everything, really. Loki loves it. The Playboy has certainly been flirting with any girl he runs into on the street (Loki disguises himself as just another man so he doesn't get mobbed), but Loki finds it odd that he hasn't actually taken one home with him. Loki has gone home with three women since being here, though he's not sure if Tony knows it. No men, though. He gets plenty of cock and ass with his watch dog.

Loki comes in a flourish, and he pumps Tony's own cock with his hand until he releases onto his chest.

"The problem with come," Loki says, using his magic to clean both of them off after Tony has collapsed beside him, "is that it's _messy_."

"Mmm, tastes good though," Tony says, stretching out his arms.

Loki looks over at him with a raised eyebrow. "You were straight when I met you."

Tony smirks before rolling his eyes, letting Loki pull him into his arms (Loki wasn't much for spooning when he first arrived, but really, it's better than sleeping alone). "What can I say? You convinced me."

"Mmm, good to hear."

"I'm sure it is, but can you let me go? I'd rather not pee on you."

Loki laughs and lets him go, burying under the blankets. He may be a Frost Giant, but he really loves the warmth of Tony and his bedding.

He sits up abruptly, though, when he hears a most unpleasant retching sound in the bathroom. He walks in, giving a concerned frown at the way that Tony is bent over the toilet.

"What are you doing?" he asks, walking over.

Tony glares up at him. "Yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"Are you sick?"

"I just emptied my stomach of dinner, so apparently yes. Maybe Steve's shawarma is finally getting to me."

The smell coming off of Tony hits Loki like the smell of a body rotting in the desert sun. He knows that smell. He's dealt with it before. It was all over him…taunting him. Tony gives him a weird look as he stumbled backwards, running into the glass shower door. He slides down it to sit on the floor, trying to calm his breathing. No, it can't be. Never once has it happened like this. Not like this. Not when he's been with another man. He knows he's a wizard and that his body can do weird things, but this? This cannot be happening.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
December 10…_

Tony is about to go and comfort Loki in whatever the hell he's suddenly got going on, but he pukes again instead.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asks the god as he hugs the toilet seat. "_I'm_ sick, not you! Haven't you ever seen someone hurl before?"

Loki swallows deeply and licks his lips, pushing a hand through his hair. "Tony, I—you—oh gods…"

Tony frowns. "Spit it out, dickwad."

The god is suddenly right beside him, pushing him onto his back. One of his hands envelopes in a soft yellow light, and he rests it on Tony's stomach. After a few seconds, he yanks it away in what looks like a panic. "Oh my gods. Tony, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to. This has never happened before. I don't know how it did."

A sinking weight settles over Tony, and he forces himself to sit up. "What are you apologizing for, Lo'?"

Loki takes a deep breath. "Tony, you're pregnant."

Tony actually faints for a split second, waking up because his head cracks against the tile a little bit. He breathes a laugh, looking up at Loki. "You're kidding. You're the God of Mischief and Lies, of course you're kidding. That's just _mean_, Lo'."

The look of sad, near terror on Loki's face let's Tony know that no, he's not kidding.

"Oh gods," Tony whispers, swallowing back puke. It doesn't work, though, and he hugs the toilet again. What was that before, then? Morning sickness at night? Fucking hell.

Loki's hand rests on Tony's shoulder, but Tony pushes him away. "Don't touch me," he growls.

"Tony, I—"

"Get the fuck away from me!" he yells, turning around to glare at him. "A fucking baby. I can't be a dad—look at me! I'm a train wreck!"

Loki mashes his lips into a tight line. He starts to open his mouth to say more, but Tony holds a hand up to stop him. "Don't talk to me. There is literally nothing you can say to make me feel better." At that, an even greater rage boils up inside of him. "_You_ did this to me. I didn't even _want_ you! _You_ made me, you _bastard_!"

Loki had the decency to look ashamed. Still scared, too. Good. He deserves it.

"Tony, you—" he starts again, but Tony doesn't want to hear it.

"Get out," he says. "Get _out_!" he repeats, louder.

"I can't, I'm—"

Tony shoves at him again, not letting up on his screaming so that the god will fucking _leave_, and it takes a long time, but he finally does, looking so sorry and broken, but Tony just can't feel bad. He just can't.

"Jarvis?" he whispers, wiping at his eyes. He hasn't cried in a _long_ time.

"Yes, sir?" the AI answers. It's in the same sad voice that he used when he asked Tony if he wanted to call Pepper while taking the bomb into space to hit the Chitauri.

"Don't let anybody in, okay? I just… I want to be alone for a long, long time."

"Of course, sir. Would you like to record a message for anyone?"

"Yeah, if they knock."

There's a whirring noise before the recorder starts with a beep, and Tony says exactly two words to be taken down: "Fuck off."

And then he just…hides. He hides in his room. It's December and everyone has the buzz of the Christmas spirit. Everybody but the heroes.

**XxX**

_3 Days Later  
December 13…_

Tony hasn't seen or heard from Loki since he told him to get out, though he has gotten a lot of knocks on the door from Steve, who yells a lot. He has food and water in his mini-fridge, anyway—except that Jarvis won't let him at any of his liquor, but that's probably a good thing. He just sleeps and researches things on his laptop most of the time. He's like a female, now, except… How the fuck does he even _give_ birth? A Clint-section? He doesn't have a fucking clue what's going on, and especially not what to do. He needs—

The air vent panel in his ceiling is suddenly lifted away, and in swings Natasha in a bathrobe and fuzzy socks, glaring over at him.

Tony glares back from his spot on the floor. "The _vents_? Seriously?"

"This is going too far, Stark," she growls. "Refusing to come out even when we're being attached by Doom's robots? What the hell is _up_?"

Tony snorts. "What's up with _me_? No, what's up with _you_? You've been reclusive, bitchy, tired, and sick for the last few months, and—don't even think about interrupting me, woman. Nobody knows what the hell is up with _you_ and it's pissing us off. I'm not talking unless _you_ do."

She stomps swiftly over to him and slaps him across the face. "You have _no_ idea what you're talking about," she hisses. "You will _never_ know what I'm going through."

Somehow Tony just gets it. Maybe because he's dealing with it too, or maybe Tony really is turning into a woman with all of their dammed insight. No wonder no one in the team knew what was wrong with her… They're all oblivious men.

"You're wrong," Tony says, a sad smile spreading across his face. "I can know."

She snorts. "You obviously have no idea what I'm tal—"

"I'm pregnant too, Nat."

Her knees give out, dropping her beside him. She stares at him, her hand going instinctively to her stomach. "That's not possible, Tony," she whispers. "You're a man."

He breathes a laugh, looking over at his open laptop. "I'm just looking up things about abortions and adoptions for fun, then."

She snatches it over and clicks around, no doubt looking through the history of the last three days.

"Oh my god," she whispers.

"'Gods', actually," he says, taking the device back. "Plural."

"Tony, are you…" She frowns. "Where's Loki?"

Tony shrugs. "I have no idea. I kicked him out three days ago and I haven't seen him since."

"Is he… Is he the one—"

"That knocked me up? Yup. Why? Does it bother you? You didn't strike me as the homophobic type, Nat."

She gives a tiny smirk that suggests she knows a lot more about this than Tony does. "I didn't know _you_ were bisexual, is all."

Tony growls lightly. That's a bit of a sore spot for him, seeing that he'd be fine and _not pregnant_ if he had stayed straight. "I'm not, exactly. It was just Loki. He talked me into it and…" He shrugs. "And here we are now."

"Loki, huh…" She muses. "No wonder you were subbing. How far along are you? I mean, I'm just assuming that Loki has been around for longer than Fury has been letting you watch him. He was the spike in magic, right?"

Tony nods. "I have no idea how far along, though. Our first night was actually the one before Fury let me be the watch dog, and I've had morning sickness, so a little over a month or so. What about you? It's been a few months now, at least."

She nods, looking down at the hand on her stomach. "Four months, about. I could start getting…well, _fat_ anytime now. I heard that a lot of women, though, when it's their first pregnancy, their change in size won't be significant until the sixth month because their body isn't used to the idea of having a kid." She looks up at him. "I don't know if it's the same for men or not."

Tony gives a harsh, painful laugh, setting his laptop aside. "I can't find anything on male pregnancy except that it's a recurring event in something called 'fanfiction'. I've just been pretending I'm a woman for the last few days."

She gives him a sad smile. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch."

Tony flits his wrist. "No, it's fine now that I know why. I might become the same, anyway. Do you know who the dad is for you?"

She shrugs. "Some guy that's dead now."

Tony nods. "Right, I forgot you kill everyone you sleep with. Gonna be fun, I bet, telling your kid that you killed their dad. If you keep it, anyway."

She shakes her head. "Adoption. I assume you haven't figured out your own choice, yet?"

Tony snorts. "I don't even know if I _can_ have an abortion. What does my anatomy even look like now, you know? Can abortion pills work if I don't have ovaries, or _do_ I have ovaries now? If not, am I getting a Clint-section or is it coming out of my ass? I have been plagued with these questions for the last thirty-six hours, dammit!"

Natasha giggles, and Tony's never heard her make that sound before, so he does too. And then they're both howling with laughter, crying on Tony's carpet. When it finally slows, Tony realizes that he's just crying out of emotional pain now. Natasha is sitting there like a stone, wiping away her tears of brief happiness. Tony hates depression highs.

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry over this," she says darkly.

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "Have you ever cried anyway?"

She gives him a sad smile. "Look at us. The bitch and the recluse, crying over our mistakes. What should we do? Keep this to ourselves?"

Tony snorts. "Well _I'm_ not telling anyone about _mine_."

She nods. "I'll have to pretty soon, considering that my stomach is going to be the first thing to enter a room pretty." She sighs. "I haven't been wearing my cat suits lately. This bathroom is getting annoying."

Tony grins. "Shame. Watching you fight in that suit is pretty fun."

She rolls her eyes, standing up. "Thanks for this," she says, gesturing between them. "I haven't smiled in months, and I don't even _remember_ the last time I laughed so hard."

Tony smiles back. "Anytime. Thanks for breaking into my room."

"You're welcome."

She puts the vent back before going out of the front door, closing it tightly behind her.

Tony sighs, picking up his laptop again and leaning against the wall behind him. Where _is_ Loki?

**OoOoOoO**

_NATASHA  
December 13…_

Natasha takes a deep breath before knocking on Steve's bedroom door. Her and Pepper came up with this idea together. It's a good idea. Natasha knows it is. She can't tell Clint yet, and she knows that he's not in with Steve because he's watching TV with Bruce. Steve is the type of guy that needs to be alone sometimes, so Clint hangs out with others because he respects that.

"Come in!" the blonde calls happily, even though this _is_ his "alone time".

Natasha walks inside, obviously surprising him that's it her.

"Natasha, hi!" he says. They haven't talked much in the last four months. "What's up?"

She licks her lips. "You want kids, right?"

Steve's eyes widen at the suddenness of the deep topic. "What do you—?"

"I know you're with Clint, Steve. I'm a super spy. Don't act so surprised."

Steve swallows hard, and instead of addressing how she knows that he says, "Yes, I want kids."

"Then you're going to adopt? Because you can't have them with Clint."

"I…don't know if he'll want to stay with me that long. I'm technically only twenty-two."

"Yeah, well, he's technically only twenty-eight, and he's not going anywhere."

"I don't know if _he_ wants kids, though."

"He does."

"How do yo—"

"I know. Trust me."

Steve presses his lips into a soft line. "Yes, I want to adopt."

"When? Within the year?"

Steve actually pales a little. "No, no, Clint and I haven't even been together for six months! We couldn't yet, we're not…" But he trails off, because Natasha knows that the way she's holding back her tears is very visible. She will _not_ cry, dammit.

"I'm pregnant, Steve," she whispers. "That's why I've been so reclusive and mean and sick. I'm having a _baby_, Steve!"

When the blonde's eyes only widen to stare, Natasha continues:

"I don't want an abortion but I don't want to keep it because I know I won't be able to take care of it right. But I also want it close so I can make sure it has a good life, and I don't _trust_ anyone but the people here! Tony wouldn't take it in a million years, Loki doesn't count, Bruce is terrified of the thought of putting children or anybody else in danger, and…you're the only ones left, Steve," she whispers. The real reason that Tony can't do it is, of course, the fact that he has his own baby problems. "I'll find someone else if you can't, but—"

Steve finally says something, cutting her off: "Nat, slow down." He takes her hands and seats her on his bed. He hasn't called her Nat in so long… Tony always does, Bruce and Thor never did (just "Natasha" and "Lady Natasha"), and Clint has always just called her "'Tasha".

He sits down beside her. "You've been pregnant for four months and you want Clint and I to adopt it?"

She nods. "I'd keep it right at first until it was old enough to survive without me, but I can't keep it forever. I don't _want_ a baby. I want to go into the field and kill people."

Steve sighs. "And you think it's going to be safe with Clint and I? I do almost exactly what you do, and he _does_ do exactly what you do."

She gives him a sad smile. "But you're better than I am, Steve. You both are."

"Natasha, what if you want it later? What if you want to settle down?"

"I won't, Steve. I'm not like that. It'll be yours forever."

Steve stares at her for ages until finally sighing again. "Do you know who the father is?"

Natasha bites her lip. Yes she knows the father is! It's your boyfriend! Never trust a manmade birth control, dammit! "Just some guy whose dead now."

"Clint told me that you slept together, Natasha."

She groans, dropping her head into her hands. "You can't tell him!" she wails. It's very odd. She's never wailed before. "He can't know!"

Steve rests a hand on her back, rubbing soothingly. "He should know, Nat."

She glares up at him, not sitting up so he'll keep rubbing her back. She has those stupid back cramps right now, anyway. "If you tell him I'll kill you. I'm not even kidding, I will _kill_ you."

He sighs, continuing to rub. "Okay," he says quietly. "It's not my decision if you tell him, but I really do think he should know." He frowns. "Wait… You want him and I to adopt _his_ baby?"

She gives a guilty look and nods.

He actually rolls his eyes at that. He rolls his eyes a lot, but in this situation it's odd. "I can't believe you would do that to him."

"No, you can't believe that I actually _will_ do that to him. Will you talk to him, Steve? I don't care if he knows that it's coming from me, because you're all going to know that I'm pregnant pretty soon, but he can't know that it's _his_. Tell him that it was the mission that I went on a week _after_ we slept together. That one involved sleeping with someone anyway."

Steve cocks an eyebrow. "You're sure it's Clint's, then?"

She smirks a little. "I killed the other guy before we actually got that far."

He nods. "Ah." Then he just sits there and thinks for a moment, his hand now rubbing absentmindedly. Natasha wonders if he's any good at massages. He eventually speaks again: "I'll talk to him," he says quietly. "Clint, I mean. I'll talk to him about it, but I'm going to lead with the fact that it's yours and you just want somebody to have it that you trust. I'm not going to go up to him and say, 'Hey, want to adopt a baby with me? It'll be ready in six months and I don't know what gender it is.'"

Natasha actually laughs. "You're not as nice as people think you are, you know?"

He grins. "You're a spy and you're just noticing now?"

She smiles warmly at him. "Thank you, Steve. Don't do it if he doesn't want to, and don't do it if you don't. You're just my first choice, okay? I can find another if I need to."

He smiles back. "I do want to, Nat. I want kids, and what better than one from a best friend?"

She nods, looking down at her hands.

"So much for not being as nice as people think I am, eh?"

She laughs again. It feels so good to laugh. Maybe she should have told people about it a long time ago. They could have helped her through it. They still can now. Natasha knows what she's going to do if Clint says yes, which she's almost positive he'll do. She's ready. She can do this.

It's Tony that needs support now.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
2 Days Later  
December 15…_

It's Tony's fifth day alone, but he doesn't even care if he's alone anymore. He's just sitting with an empty bag of popcorn and researching in horror. It's this day, though, that Loki finally decides to show up. Tony just looks up at him from the floor, the laptop in his lap as it usually is.

"What do you want?" he asks, looking back down at his screen.

Loki is silent for a long time before he snaps his fingers, and all of his armor melts away into…pajamas? He sits down beside Tony, takes the laptop, closes it lightly, and sets it aside.

"Ask me anything you want to know," he says quietly.

Tony takes a deep breath. "Can I get an abortion?"

"No."

Tony sighs the breath out. "Okay, then how does it come out?"

"A Midgardian caesarean section."

Tony nods. "Am I a woman now?"

"You still have the male reproductive system. If you slept with a woman you could still get her pregnant."

"Not a man, though?"

Loki sighs. "I would have said no before, but I don't know anymore. I don't think so. I think it's just me, because of my magic."

Tony cringes slightly. "Speaking of your magic, is it going to have an effect on the _kid_? Like…four arms or six eyes or something?"

Loki gives a sad smile. "Probably."

Tony nods, and they sit in silent for a while. Tony's not angry at him anymore, or really angry at all. He's hit the "depressed" stage.

"Natasha is pregnant," he blurts.

"I know," Loki says.

Tony frowns up at him. "How?"

"Because I know what it's like."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "What _what's_ like?"

"I've been pregnant too, Tony."

Tony's eyes widen before he looks down at his lap. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"It's fine. I'm sorry I convinced you into sleeping with me."

Tony chokes out a laugh. "That part's fine…it's what came after that isn't. I guess I'll get over it eventually, though. Do you, uh, know how far along I am?"

Loki nods. "It was our second time. The twenty-ninth of October."

"Just a couple days until seven weeks, then."

There's another silence, and this time Tony doesn't' care anymore. He leans over on Loki's shoulder, and the god reaches over with his other arm to hold his hand.

"Why did you come back, Lo'?" Tony asks quietly.

The gods takes a very deep breath before letting it out. "I have four kids," he says. "Three of them were of the same woman, and the fourth was of myself. This won't give you any reassurance as to what ours will look like, but they are a wolf, a serpent, a horse, and a girl that's half corpse."

Tony wrinkles his nose up, but Loki continues before he can say anything:

"I have not seen my children in over three-hundred years, Tony. Fenrir the giant wolf is tied up on the outskirts of Asgard for terrorizing the villagers, Jörmungandr the giant serpent was cast to surround your planet as the atmosphere, Hela the half-corpse was cast into the underworld to rule it, and Sleipnir—the one I birthed—is an eight-legged stallion that Odin took as his own steed. All four of my kids look nothing like me and have been cast out because they have a knack for destroying. I always wonder how they would have acted if I had stayed to raise them. Maybe the same, seeing that I terrorized people for a living… But that's why I came back, Tony. because I'm sick of being ashamed and scared to visit my own children. I wish I had stayed, and this is my chance."

Tony actually smiles a little, and he knows that the god just poured his heart out, but he honestly can't help it: "Huh. Not 'cause I'm good lookin', then?"

Loki actually snorts. "Possibly that as well."

Tony grins. "So I'm stuck with you for the next few years, then?"

"Precisely."

Tony frowns. "But…your sentence isn't that long. Fury's going to be after you before then."

Loki shrugs. "By then I hope to be off of the hit list."

Tony blinks up at him. "Are you saying what I think you are?"

"I might be."

"Are you going to become a good guy?"

Loki give an evil sort of grin. "Probably not, but I'll think of something. I won't kill anyone you know, anyway."

Tony may be a dick, but he is a good guy, and the fact that the father of his kid isn't going to kill all his friends is the greatest thing. He leans up and kisses the god, pulling them down on the carpet."

"Gods, I missed this," Loki says around kisses. "If the Greek god's Aphrodite was a man, she'd look like you."

Tony breathes a laugh, not sure if he should acknowledge the compliment or not. He decides no: "We don't have to get married, do we?"

Loki snorts. "Definitely not."

Tony grins. "Then keep kissing me."


	4. Chapter 4

[Chapter summary: In which Natasha's child has a home, Bruce knows everything, the God of Thunder is down for a visit, and Jane is all for it.]

**Chapter Four**

_STEVE_  
_December 15…_

Steve takes a deep breath as he walks into the living room, looking over at Clint and Bruce playing chess. It's been two days since Natasha talked to him about adopting her child.

"Uh, Clint?"

Steve's boyfriend looks up. "Hey!"

"Yeah, hi, can I talk to you?"

He frowns. "Can it wait for just a few mo—"

"Checkmate," Bruce says.

He sighs. "Asshole," he mutters. He stands and goes to Steve, following him out until they get all the way to Steve's bedroom for privacy.

"What's up?" Clint asks, taking his hand and flopping them both onto the bed.

"Uh…" Steve sits up. He's the captain. He needs to be blunt, and fast: "Natasha is four months pregnant."

Clint chokes a little and sits up as well. "_What_?"

"Not from you!" Steve quick lies, looking down. "A week afterwards, on a mission. That's why she's been so odd lately."

Clint is practically hyperventilating. "Oh my gods, Natasha has never been fat in her _life_! Why is she just telling us now?"

Steve shakes his head no. "She just told me a couple of days ago, because she, uh…she has a proposition for us."

Clint cocks an eyebrow. "What _kind_ of proposition?"

Steve takes another deep breath before explaining the adoption situation, mostly in the same way that Natasha did about wanting the baby with someone who she trust.

Clint is silent for a long time after Steve finishes, but he does finally answer: "Natasha wants us to adopt her baby?"

_ No she wants us to adopt YOUR baby_, Steve thinks. But out loud he only says, "Right."

"She wants us to be dads together and we haven't even had sex yet."

Steve cringes a little. "She gave us the option to, yes."

"She thinks it will be safer with _us_?"

"She trusts us, Clint."

Clint looks up at him. "You want this, don't you?"

Steve sighs. "My feelings are complicated on the matter."

"Explain them."

Steve nods. "I want kids one day, but within a year is just…very soon. It's not that I'm not ready, I just don't want to rush into it."

Clint nods slowly. "I… I want kids too, I just… Now? A kid _now_? I know I'm twenty-eight, and that's a normal age for some people, but I'm an assassin in the Avenger's mansion! Any children here would grow up to be _monsters_! We'd also need a babysitter whenever we were all out saving things, and they'll just have to live with us and have no other life because we don't know when we'll need them! And I'm sure as hell not going to pay for a babysitter for the next twelve years—food and clothes and diapers are _plenty_. What, we make S.H.I.E.L.D. pay for it? Fury would never go for that!"

Steve blinks a bit. "Actually, that might wo—"

But suddenly Jarvis comes over the intercom system and cuts him off: "Excuse me, sirs, but there is to be an immediate meeting in the conference room involving all the current members of the Avengers Initiative but for Mr. Banner, for he is napping."

Clint glares at the intercom. "Tell them that _we're_ napping."

"It is important, Mr. Barton. I am confidence that you will want to hear every word."

Steve and Clint sigh before heading out. Jarvis is only sarcastic with Tony, so this meeting is going to be very important. Is Natasha announcing to Tony and Loki about her being pregnant? Why do Steve and Clint have to be there, then? It must be something else. Whatever it is, he can see not waking Bruce for it. Anything they talk about might give him a heart attack and he'll Hulk out.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
December 15…_

When Steve and Clint walk in and take their usual seats beside each other, Tony takes a deep breath. He called the meeting to get a lot of things said, really. Anything Natasha wants to say about her own pregnancy, telling Steve and Clint about _his_ pregnancy, and…whatever else. "Good, we're all here," he says. "I've called this meeting so th—"

"_You_ called this meeting?" Clint asks darkly. "I was having an important conversation, asshole!"

"Can it, Clint," Natasha snaps. "I know exactly what you were talking about and this is just as important."

Steve's eyebrows rise. "Really?"

Loki suddenly lets out a feral snarl. "I may not be able to hurt you," he growls, "but I can still make your lives miserably if you don't _shut up_ and _listen_."

Tony smiles up at him. "Thank you."

Loki levels him with a glare. "Don't push it."

Tony gives a guilty smile, but he's making a C-section joke anyway: "I won't have to."

He and Loki stare at each other for about four seconds before bursting into laughter, so much so that Tony almost falls out of his chair.

"Can I _go_ now?" Clint asks.

Natasha smacks the back of Tony's head, ignoring the look of death that Loki gives her. "Don't make _me_ tell them."

Tony sighs, forcing himself to sober up. "There are a lot of things that need to be said here… I let Bruce keep sleeping so he wouldn't have a stress attack. We all know that Natasha is pregnant, but…well, there's another that is as well."

Loki scoffs. "You have to be blunt, Tony."

Tony glares up at him. "I've spent my life flirting women into my bed. You can't _be_ blunt doing that. You have to hint at it."

"Then let _me_ tell them."

Tony groans. "Fine. Just get it over with."

Loki smirks over at Steve and Clint, since Natasha already knows. "So Anthony and I have been fucking for the last two months…"

Instead of the wide-eyed stares that Tony expected, Steve and Clint look at each other and laugh.

"Hey now, he's serious!" Tony says. "We are!"

"No, we believe you," Clint says, grinning. "It's just funny, because Steve and I have been together for nearly three."

Tony is the only one staring. Why is nobody else surprised? Is he the only one who didn't know? Wait, Bruce doesn't know! Actually, Bruce doesn't know anything about any of this. Other than the Hulk, he's drama free… Tony's not sure if he's lucky or not.

"Wait, really?" he says. "Steve lost his virginity and nobody told me?"

"We haven't actually gotten to that point yet," Steve says quietly.

"Yeah," Clint says louder. "Unlike _you_, we're actually serious about relationships, so we're taking it slow."

For some reasons that really pisses Tony off. "Ex_cuse_ me? You have _no_ idea how serious this relationship has gotten, you uneducated cunt!"

Loki and Natasha sigh, Steve glares, and Clint just blinks a lot.

Tony sinks into his chair a little. "Sorry."

Loki squeezes his thigh under the table before speaking: "As you all know, I'm a magician. Being blunt, as I said, the magic in my body has somehow made male pregnancy possible, and now Tony is pregnant as well as Natasha."

_Now_ Tony gets the reactions he expected. Staring. Steve stays staring for a long time, but Clint actually dissolves into a pained, choking laughter. But suddenly he's just angry:

"Mother of _fuck_!" he yells. "_Babies_! The Avenger's can't have _babies_! Adoptions and babysitters an—"

Steve cuts him off by putting a hand over his mouth. "_Breathe_," he whispers.

Clint groans and drops his head to the table. "Leave me alone."

Natasha gives him a sad look. "That's a no, then."

Tony frowns. "I'm confused."

"It's not a no," Clint says, ignoring him, "it's just more complicated than that. Adoption takes planning and…a _newborn_? We're always out saving people, so we're going to need—"

"Jane!" Loki exclaims.

Tony looks up at him. "What? You actually know what's going on?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "I'll explain it if you just listen, imbecile." He looks back over at Steve and Clint. "We're going to have two children running around and we're not always going to be around to take care of them. That's why we need a twenty-four/seven babysitter, right? So we need someone we trust. Jane Foster is that very woman. She'd still be able to do her research around here, and she'd only have to pause while we were out so she could watch the kids."

Natasha cocks an eyebrow. "Thor's girl?"

Tony throws his arms up. "I get it now!"

Steve smirks at him lightly. "Understood that reference, did you?"

Tony glares just as light. "Eight months in the twenty-first century and you're already a dick."

"_Anyway_," Clint says, elbowing Steve lightly. "I think Jane is a good idea. Would she even consider it, though?"

"If not, there's always Darcy Lewis," Loki says. "I have a feeling that Jane would be fine with it, though."

Natasha purses her lips, looking over at Steve and Clint. "Does that mean yes?"

Steve is definitely about to say anything but "yes" (maybe not "no", but more like a "let us talk about it some more" or something), but Clint blurts out a very loud "Definitely!" before he can.

The blonde stares down at him. "What? Really?"

Clint sinks into his chair a little. "I… Yes. I know _you_ want to, Steve, and… I mean, it works, right? Aunty Natasha, Uncle Tony, Uncle Thor, whatever the fuck Loki, and Nanny Jane or Darcy. I may hate Loki's guts, but he's right."

Steve swallows. "Do you really want to?"

Clint rolls his eyes. "You seriously think I would adopt a kid with you if I didn't want to?"

The smile that spreads across Steve's face is actually adorable. He doesn't say anything, he just smiles for an inhuman length of time. Clint gives him a mushy look back, though, and Tony is certainly having none of that.

"Okay, well, fuck romance," Tony says, stretching his arms out. "Now what? We have two pregnant Avenger's. Maybe we've have things figured out between ourselves, but we need to with Fury, the media, and a few other people."

Natasha nods. "Someone will have to tell Fury."

"I will," a new voice says, and everyone looks over at the door to see Bruce, rubbing his eyes with one hand and holding a teddy bear (Tony made it for him; it's indestructible) in the other.

"You heard all of that?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow.

Sleeping Beauty reaches up and pulls a headphone out of his ear. "I've been connected to the feed since we moved in," he says around a yawn. "Why do you think I just sleep all the time instead of gossiping like you old ladies? Contrary to your apparent belief, I do actually like to hear the schmooze every now and again."

Tony frowns. "Does that mean that I was the only one who didn't know about Steve and Clint?"

Bruce nods, moving to sit beside Loki. It's funny seeing the god cower a little—and for good reason, seeing that he almost got his spine snapped eight months ago. "You sing really well, by the way."

Tony grins. About the third day he usually had music going, and how could he resist singing along? "Thanks."

"_You're_ going to tell Fury?" Natasha asks, bringing the topic back to what Tony called the meeting for.

"Yeah, I will," Bruce says with a nod. "Not only am I the only one who doesn't have something going on, but he won't get too angry because he won't want to tick me off."

Clint gives him a sad look. "Bruce, you—"

"Yes, Clint, thank you. Should I go tell him now?"

"That would be best," Steve says. "Clint, Natasha, and I can go figure out adoption stuff."

Tony frowns. "What the fuck do _we_ do?" he asks, motioning to him and Loki.

"_You_ are going to go get your fill of outside," Loki says, "because unless you want to explain to the media how and why you're pregnant, you are going to be inside a _lot_."

Tony pouts out his bottom lip. "Does that mean I can't use my suit anymore?"

"You can until you can't fit in it. That's when I'll declare that it's too dangerous."

Clint cocks an eyebrow. "You actually care?"

Loki gives him a tight look. "Yes," he says calmly.

Tony quick changes the subject: "I'm hungry! Steve, can you make something _besides_ shawarma?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "Sorry, I have an unborn fetus to adopt."

"We should go talk to Jane," Loki says.

Tony nods. "Good idea."

They all head out, then, Bruce to Fury, Natasha, Steve, and Clint to wherever to adopt, and Loki grips tightly to Tony's hand to bring him to New Mexico via teleportation.

"Oh," Tony mutters as they "land", gripping tighter to Loki so he doesn't fall over. "I wasn't expecting to feel nauseous after that."

"You get used to it," Loki says, wrapping an arm around his waist to right him. "Ready to tell more people about your condition?"

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "You'll do most of the talking, right? 'Cause I've never met her before."

"Neither have I, but yes."

"_What_? You suggested that we have her babysit our kid and you've never even—you know what? Never mind. Let's just get this over with."

Tony knocks three times when they get to the door before stepping back, and that way Loki will be seen first. He expects Loki to drop the arm around his waist, but he just keeps it there. Tony knows what all of Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, and Erik Selvig look like, so he wouldn't have been surprised to see any of them open the door. He knows what Thor looks like too, but damn, the God of Thunder is the last person that Tony expected to open the door even if Jane _is_ his girlfriend.

Loki gasps a little and covers his mouth with his free hand, and Thor gives a very surprised look as well—until he sees the way that Loki is holding Tony, and then he just looks angry.

"You have roped my brother into your _games_, Man of Iron?" he asks darkly. "Are you to cast him aside as you do the _rest_?"

Tony bursts into pained, terrified laughter. "You're mad about this? Oh, wait till you hear the _news_!"

Loki glares down at him. "Do you _want_ to die?" Before Tony can answer, though, he continues to Thor: "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I am here for Jane," he says, still glaring down at Tony. "Neither of you have been here before, so should I now be asking you such a question?"

"We're here for Jane as well," Tony squeaks. "We, uh…have a job proposition."

Loki turns Tony to push him behind him. "I'll handle this," he hisses. He looks Thor dead in the eyes, but before he can say anything else, another voice speaks:

"Thor?" a woman calls from inside. "Who is it?"

Thor simply steps aside, revealing a small but very pretty woman who must be Jane.

"Oh!" she says brightly, eyes wide as she leans in against the doorframe. "Loki, hi!"

Tony frowns. "I thought you've never met her," he says to Loki.

Loki glances back over his shoulder. "I haven't."

Jane frowns as well. "Tony Stark?"

Tony grins over Loki's shoulder—which is very difficult considering the height difference. "Hi."

Jane gives a very warm smile up at Thor. "Did Loki finally accept your invitation to come over?"

Tony has no idea what any of that means, but the way that a low growl emits from Loki's chest is probably not a good sign.

"You haven't told her?" he asks darkly. "She just thinks I'm _avoiding_ you?"

Thor glares at him. "Are you not?"

"I don't even know when you're down here."

"I'm down here now."

"As if that makes a difference for the _past_. You didn't even say goodbye!"

"I did not know you wanted me to! How was I supposed to if you did not even look at me?"

Loki mashes his lips into a line before practically exploding with anger, and he and Thor both yell at the same time for what seems like ages. Just as Tony is going to risk his life to shut them both up, Jane does it for him:

"_Hey_!" she yells. "I swear to Odin, if you do not _shut up right now_…!"

Tony can't help but grin as both gods fall silent.

"Now," Jane says, hands on her hips as she glares at both of them. "I may not know what's going on, but I'm certainly not going to stand for two very tall men arguing at my front door! Loki, Tony, you can come in for some coffee to _talk_ or you can _leave_."

Tony grins again, spinning around to stand in front of her. "Nice to meet you," he says, shaking her hand. "I would _love_ some coffee."

She smiles. "Great! I've got some lunch cooking as well! You're both welcome to stay."

"Great, I'm starved!" He grabs Loki's hand and pulls him inside, blatantly ignoring the look of death that Thor gives him.

Jane leads them into the kitchen, motioning for both of them to sit down at the table. Thor leans against the kitchen doorframe while Jane gets some mugs of coffee, but he sighs and goes to sit as well when the mugs actually get to the table.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me, hun?" Jane asks Thor sweetly, taking a sip of her coffee. Tony doesn't even know her and he likes her. Anyone who can yell at two gods without any fear and have it actually work and _then_ invite them in for coffee and lunch is alright in his book.

Thor takes a deep breath, nods, and downs half of his mug before speaking: "The reason that Loki has never replied to my invitations is because I never sent him any."

Jane nods. "And?"

"And I lied about his sentence being up. He still has four more months left of being subject to this planet, though it is safe because any pain he inflicts is immediately inflicted upon himself."

"Then his six months on Jotunheim was only _half_ of his sentence?"

Thor nods.

She sets down her mug. "_And_?"

He huffs. "I lied about it because I was unaware as to Loki's feelings on the matter of anyone _knowing_ he was here. I did not know that he had…befriended…an old friend of my own."

She smiles. "There we go. But _what_ have I told you about lying?"

Thor sighs, looking down at his lap. Tony has to resist the urge to laugh at the way the god looks so ashamed next to Jane's petite figure. "Don't do it unless it's going to save a life."

"Correct. I _know_ this wasn't a life and death situation, but it's okay since it's involving Loki's feelings." She looks over at Loki. "And what _are_ your feelings towards people knowing?"

Loki stares at her before looking away. "It doesn't bother me."

"There!" She clasps her hands together. "All better! I won't make you hug and make up. You're a little old for that." She looks at Thor. "What is it this year, one-thousand, nine-hundred, and seventy-four?"

Thor nods. "And Loki will be one-thousand, seven hundred, and thirty-nine."

Tony snorts, looking up at the magician. "You're old!"

Loki smirks down at him. "And I still look better than you."

"Excuse me for being thirty-seven and still being voted the sexiest man alive last year."

Loki smirks down at him. "We'll have to get you one of Idunn's apples."

Tony has no idea what that means, but Thor must, because he stands up with another look of death. "Tony Stark, you are—"

But Loki stands too, snarling at the blonde. "He's _mine_, Thor! It was _my_ idea and he is _my_ responsibility because he's carrying _my_ child!"

Jane just looks annoyed that they've raised their voices again, not even phased by the pregnancy bit, but Thor… Good lord, Tony has never seen eyes so wide. He immediately sits down, gripping onto the table.

"But…but your other children…" he says.

"This one will be _different_," Loki hisses. "I'm staying with this one."

Thor suddenly gets a very large smile. "I'm going to be a _real_ uncle?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "A real _adopted_ uncle."

That doesn't seem to bother the blonde in the least. "Maybe this one will fly! I can take it on trips into the clouds and—"

"Thor, not so fast," Jane says. "It's not going to be your baby. You have to give it time." She pats his cheek before taking his hand. "How far along are you?" she asks Tony.

Tony stares at her for a moment. "Can I, like, I mean… Is this _normal_ to you? Are there lots of male pregnancies in New Mexico?"

She gives a warm smile. "No, but you stop being surprised by things when you're dating a god. You'll understand soon enough."

Tony cringes. _Are_ him and Loki dating? He doesn't even know. He just knows that he's got his kid and Loki still calls him names.

"He's two months along," Loki says. "And actually, his pregnancy is what we wanted to talk to you about."

She nods. "I would love to."

Tony and Loki frown. "Am I literally the only one that never knows what's going on?" Tony asks.

Loki gives a small eye roll and puts an arm around his shoulder. "Shush and let the adults talk." He looks back at Jane. "You're sure?"

"Of course! S.H.I.E.L.D. is already funding me, so I'm closer to them in the mansion anyway. Erik is already out at headquarters and Darcy hasn't been around in a few months anyway. I'm not really sure where she is, honestly." She shrugs. "Besides, I love kids."

Loki smiles at her. "I like you."

Tony and Thor speak at the same time:

"You can only have _one_, brother, and certainly not _mine_."

"But you like me more, right?"

Loki and Jane roll their eyes. "Men," she says, flitting a wrist. "Do any of you want more coffee?"

And that's mostly how the rest of that goes. Jane is perfectly thrilled with babysitting, even after hearing that there will be two because of Natasha's baby as well. Tony has no idea how Jane does it, really. So calm and collected around the two arguing gods and about a man being pregnant and "yeah sure I can babysit a possible animal child it'll be fun". Tony envies her.

**XxX**

_December 15…_

Tony looks up from where he's working in the lab (Loki is fast asleep on the couch down here) as the door opens, and he smiles when he sees that it's Bruce—followed by an immediate cringe. "What did Fury say?" he asks.

Bruce chuckles. "He laughed and said, 'You motherfucking Avenger's are going to be the death of me. Don't break anything.' I also talked to Hill, and she said something about it breaching protocol before giving me this"—he holds up a book—"to give it to you."

Tony frowns, taking it to read off the front cover:

_The Books of Protocol:  
S.H.I.E.L.D. Levels Addition_

"Wow," he says, flipping through the pages. "They actually have one of these?"

"Apparently so. Hill told me that a total of four pages involve the two of you."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "Which ones?"

"I don't remember, but she marked them. She wants it back when you're done." He heads out.

Tony shrugs and goes over to sit on the floor beside Loki, letting him sleep as he flips around to the mark pages. He'll read them all if he feels like it, but he'll at least get these four over with.

It says "S.H.I.E.L.D. Levels Handbook" at the top of every page and a page number at the bottom, and each page has one picture that's meant to be a sort of descriptive at-a glance thing since there are multiple things on specific levels and the only name of sorts that they have is an "AKA" under identifiable level number. The levels get higher as Tony reads on, and he quick flips back for just a second to see that the highest level is an eleven, and there are two-hundred pages to the book, which means two-hundred entries.

"Good lord," he mutters to himself. "S.H.I.E.L.D. pays people to make these things?"

Tony reads through the four marked pages, finding that the first is on page thirty-seven and involves Stark Industries in general:

_Level 5  
AKA "Stark Technology Problems"_

USE IF:

_-Jarvis is found hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D. or other important databases  
-Jarvis is using his superior knowledge to reenact the fictional idea of Skynet  
-The Iron Man suit(s) are malfunctioning  
-Household appliances are exploding into metal creatures (see all pages of _The Books of Protocol: Technology Mishaps Addition_)_

Tony is definitely going to have to read that book, too.

The next entry on page one-hundred is about Loki:

_Level 7  
AKA "Loki Problems"_

USE IF:

_-Takes [insert world dominating weapon here] and tries to take or help take over the world (see page 66 for "Alien Problems")  
-Tries to seduce agents and/or civilians into doing his bidding  
-Physically takes over agents and/or civilians via the Tesseract_

Page one-hundred and one involves Tony specifically:

_Level 8  
AKA "Stark Problems"_

USE IF:

_-Is drunk (drunker than usual)  
-Is throwing lavish parties on SHEILD property  
-Pokes Bruce Banner with electric and/or sharp, pointy objects  
-Has drawn out the Hulk either by accident or on purpose (see page 112)  
-Tries to seduce agents into coming home with him/doing something for him  
-Has already seduced an agent into coming home with him/doing something for him  
-Is refusing to follow through with his duties in the Avenger's Initiative  
-Is refusing to give up certain information (such information has an incredible range size)_

Tony snorts. Loki taking over the world is a level seven, but Tony seducing agents is a level eight? "I am going to have to have a serious talk with whoever wrote this shit," Tony mutters, flipping to the last marker. It's page one-hundred and eighty-two and specifically involving Loki:

_Level 11  
AKA "Alien World Domination Problems"_

USE IF:

_-Is able to use [insert world dominating weapon here] and takes or helps take over the world_

And that's…all that that one says. Just if Loki manages to get the world taken over by the doing of himself or another.

Tony sighs, closing the book. He doesn't want to read the other entries. They're depressing.

* * *

End chapter notes: Well, this WAS going to be a strict Loki/Tony m-preg, but then Steve/Clint knocked down my door and pregnant!Natasha came in through my ceiling, so it's sort of a multiple pairing now whoops. Anyway, about Loki and Tony being _not_ romantic and in love and shit right now? Don't worry, they'll have their share of mushy feelings further on!

Also I totally stole the book format and two entries (the ones on pages 100 and 101, though I did add a few things), so I shall reference it here from deviantart: _level 7_ by _aniapluch_.


	5. Chapter 5

[Chapter summary: In which Bruce and Natasha bond over being single, Natasha is old, Loki and Tony realize the truth, and the rest of their life is going to be AGES.]

**Chapter Five**

_CLINT  
3 Months and 3 Days Later  
March 18..._

Clint does not usually wake up in a cold sweat, but the last week and a half has been hell. Steve wakes up right away with him, pulling Clint into his arms.

"Just a dream," the blonde whispers, kissing his forehead. "Just another nightmare."

Clint grips tightly to him, forcing back his tears. "I'm scared, Steve," he whispers.

"Don't be," Steve says back, holding him just as tight. "Natasha trusts us, remember? You know better than anyone that she doesn't trust many people. We're lucky, Clint. We're lucky and we're safe."

Clint pulls away just enough to look at him in the faint city lights coming through the window. "I love you," he whispers.

Steve smiles. "I love you, too."

Clint leans forward and kisses him hard, his arms holding Steve even tighter. The blonde reaches up with his hands and cradles his face.

"Steve, I—"

"I want you," Steve says.

Clint smiles. Twenty-first century as he's becoming, Clint didn't envision Steve saying it first. Granted, he did cut Clint off, but still.

Both of them already sleep in just underwear, and given that they're both already passed blowjobs, it's easy to get completely undressed. It doesn't matter that just had nightmares…he needs Steve more than anything right now.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
March 18…_

Tony sings along to his blaring AC/DC in the lab, spinning around as he works on one of his recently bought cars. Apparently Natasha is really into fast cars, and her birthday is coming in less than two weeks, so Tony wants to get her something that she _won't_ hate. He would have just gotten her some sexy outfit for whatever mission or something, but Clint already called it.

Shoot to Thrill is cut off in the very middle, and Tony says without turning around, "If you don't turn that back up I'll pull your tits off with my wrench."

At the snort, though, Tony knows that it's Loki. He turns around with a guilty grin. "Just kidding?"

Loki smirks and goes to pull him into his arms, bending him down against the hood of the car and kissing him deeply. How he's able to bend over Tony's baby bump comfortably is beyond Tony.

Tony laughs, pushing him back. "Careful, I'm not done with this thing yet."

Loki gives a good natured eye roll. He leans in to his neck, kissing up to this ear. "Come upstairs with me," he whispers.

Tony groans, gripping onto the front of his shirt (the god has been wearing t-shirts and jeans lately, and Tony even caught him in sweats a couple weeks ago). "But…but I have to finish the car…"

Loki pulls away. "Don't even think about picking a convertible over me."

Tony rolls his eyes, setting down his tools. "You win."

"Mmm, good."

Loki takes his hand as they walk to their room (Loki's mattress was out at first for show, but it's long gone now), humming lightly to whatever music he usually listens to. The god is…very normal, actually. He giggles like a girl when Tony does something "cute" and pouts when Tony chooses a project over him, and he holds Tony's hand whenever they're walking beside each other through the mansion or through S.H.I.E.L.D. or anywhere else. Tony actually _likes_ the whole spooning thing with Loki, and he's found that waking up beside somebody that he's going to see again is the greatest thing. He should have thought of this _years_ ago.

Loki pushes the bedroom door open, and Tony walks in to—

"Oh my gods," he whispers, looking around. The room has always been filled with the millions of baby things they've gotten over the last three months, but before it was a _mess_. Things were knocked over and scattered and disorganized. Now, though, they're all put together in specific piles of clothes and toys and things.

He looks back at Loki. "Did you clean our room?"

The magician shrugs, walking in passed him. "It needed to be cleaned."

"Oh, it needed to be—yeah _right_. You've refused to help me clean for _weeks_ and you just…did it while I was out?"

Loki smirks back at him. "Are you going to thank me or not?"

Tony laughs, spinning over to fall onto the bed. "Lie down and see."

**OoOoOoO**

_BRUCE  
March 19…_

Bruce likes sleeping, but sometimes he just likes to stand out on the roof and stare up at the stars instead of sleep under them. He wishes on them when they fall, but that's not as often as he'd like. It's not like it matters, he guesses. His wishes never come true anyway. He'll always have to grapple with the other guy. He's accepted it, but that never stops him from making that wish that one day he'll wake up _normal_.

The roof door opens and closes behind him, and he turns to smile at Natasha in her pregnancy getup. The two of them have been hanging out a lot since the meeting two months ago, what with Tony having Loki and Clint having Steve. It's just been natural to spend time together when everybody else is busy with another. It's purely platonic, of course, though Bruce won't deny that she's pretty. Neither of them are the dating type anyway. Speaking of dating…

Tony denies it, but he and Loki are definitely a textbook couple now. They have dumb arguments made up by hugs and/or kisses, sleep cuddled up in each others arms (even spooning, which is not a Tony activity), hold hands, and go shopping for baby supplies. They even told the media…the city has been in an uproar for weeks. Not necessarily because they're a gay couple, but mostly because Tony is with the very man that tried to destroy him and the city. They're trying to convince everyone that Loki has changed, even saying that Loki's punishment in which he can't hurt people is going to be forever instead of just for the next four months. Convincing them, though, is harder than it sounds. At least they don't get mobbed anymore.

"Hey," Natasha says, sitting down on the roof edge. It's not exactly the safest thing, but she does it because she knows that, even with being just over six months pregnant, she'll be able to catch herself.

"Hey," Bruce says back, sitting down beside her, though his reason is just because he knows he can't die that way—maybe not at all except for old age. "What time is it?"

"Three minutes after midnight," she says. "Can't sleep?"

He sighs. "I've slept so much in the last twenty-four hours that my body won't let me have anymore of it."

She nods, fingers dancing absentmindedly over her stomach. "He's kicking a lot. It wakes me up sometimes."

Bruce smiles, reaching over to rest his hand there because he knows he's allowed to. Bruce knows that Natasha used to be afraid of him because of the Hulk, but she seems to have gotten over it now. The baby does kick a few times, and Bruce forces himself not to cry. Maybe he can't have his own kids, but at least he'll get to watch his friends have them.

They found out that Natasha's is going to be a boy, and Steve and Clint are still working on a first and last name. They're letting Natasha choose the middle, though she hasn't chosen yet either since she wants it to sound good with the rest. I think the biggest reason that it's not named yet is because Steve and Clint are trying to figure out a _last_ name. Rogers-Barton is probably going to win out eventually, just to make it simple. Clint said something about just mashing them together, but they didn't like Barters and Rogton got reactions ranging from cringes to tears of laughter.

Tony and Loki, on the other hand, just found out that they're having a girl (which Loki is _thrilled_ about since he's got four other kids and only one is a girl) two days ago, and they've already chosen a name. They originally had it planned out as a boy at first, assuming for no reason that that's what it would be: Alexander Phillip Stark. Alexander after Alexander the Great (though Loki liked the name of his horse better, but Tony convinced him that it would be offensive if she were any other type of animal—somehow he's come to grips with the fact that he ma be giving birth to something with fur and four legs), Phillip after Phil Coulson (which they planned on keeping secret, but Bruce knows everything anyway), and Stark because Loki doesn't have his _own_ last name.

Now that it's a girl, though, they've had to switch it up a bit. Alexandria was an easy switch, not to mention that Loki thinks it's "pretty", and Stark could stay the same. Phillip was harder because Tony didn't want to just tack an "a" on the end, so they finally just sighed and changed it altogether. Now her name will be Alexandria Valkyrie Stark. Loki chose the middle name, of course. Bruce can't remember what it means in Norse, though.

"He's going to be so beautiful," Natasha whispers, resting a hand back when Bruce pulls his away after those kicks.

Bruce gives her a sad smile. "Natasha, are you going to be…okay?"

She snorts. "If you're asking me if I'm having second thoughts on adoption, no, I'm not. They're going to be the perfect parents. They only thing I'm worried about is if _they're_ going to feel bad about it and always invite me around on 'family outings'. I don't _want_ him; that's why I'm giving him away. It's not just that I don't think I'd be a very good mom or that I think he'd be safer and happier with them, I also _don't want the baby_. I'm twenty-three and my job consists of things I will not be able to do with a child. Do you know what it's like to be out in the field your entire life and then get taken off because you're _fat_ is going to melt off of you into another human being?"

Bruce can't help but laugh. She just never puts anything delicately.

"I don't want to stop doing what I do," she continues. "It's hell enough sitting around until I give birth, not to mention sitting around even more to feed it for…I don't know, some amount of months. The only reason Fury is letting me out for so long is because he knows I'm coming back and I'm one of the best." She chuckles. "It was so funny to see the look of almost terror on his face when I told him that I was pregnant. I mean, it wasn't funny at first, but now it is. How did he react to telling him about the adoption and Tony being pregnant again?"

Bruce smiles at the memory. "He burst into laughter and told me to tell Tony that 'you motherfuckers better not break anything'."

She nods, looking up at the sky. "It's amazing what the media is doing with all of this. Half of it is terrified because it thinks that we're settling down and are going to stop saving the town from Doom or Hydra or anything else that's supernatural, but the other half thinks it's great for at least a million reasons that I don't fucking know."

Bruce nods, looking over at her. "It's a good thing Loki can take care of Tony, you know? Any other doctor wouldn't know what to do with him. He doesn't have a uterus, it's…" He sighs. "I don't know what Loki called it, but in my defense it's in some other language. He's got some way for him to carry the baby, and Loki is going to have to help the doctors make the right incisions. To be honest, he'll probably just do it for them or something."

Natasha snorts. "I just can't believe Tony was so excited about finding out it was a girl. I understand Loki, but Tony is…weird lately."

Bruce laughs. Natasha was weird too, but she's getting better. "Except when he had to think of a new middle name."

Natasha grins over at him. "That headphone feed thing must come in handy."

Bruce smiles. "It's kind of boring when I have nobody to listen to, though."

"Oh, are they all asleep?"

"No, they're all having sex. I can listen to talking, but that's not really my thing."

Natasha bursts into laughter. "Clint and Steve are _finally_ there?"

Bruce nods. "Finally in_deed_."

She sighs, looking down at her slow-growing belly. "Do you think I should tell him?" she whispers.

Bruce takes one of her hands, knowing that she's talking about telling Clint that the kid is his. "No."

Her eyes widen a little. "You—really? Nobody has ever told me no."

Bruce shrugs. "I just don't think he'd want to know. Maybe later."

"You're sure it wouldn't be better to tell him now? What if he—"

"Natasha, even if I did say yes, you wouldn't tell him. Just accept my answer and justify it by telling people I told you not to."

She gives a good natured eye roll. "Thank you, Bruce."

"Anytime, kiddo. You're gonna be twenty-four, right?"

She nods.

"Anything particular that you want?"

She sighs. "I want a new comforter set."

Bruce cocks an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yup."

"Brilliant. What color?"

She buzzes her lips in thought. "I really want to say black and white, but that's so _boring_. How about…neon green?"

Bruce gives a warm smile. "Only if I can get neon pink pillow covers to go with it."

She grins. "I'm going to regret it, so no. Just get the black and white. It will match the rest of the room."

Bruce squeezes her hand. "Good idea."

**OoOoOoO**

_STEVE  
1 Week Later  
March 26…_

The day of Natasha's twenty-fourth birthday rolls along, and all of her, Steve, Clint, Tony, Loki, Bruce, Thor, Jane, and Pepper are sitting around the living room for her presents. Jane hasn't actually moved in yet, but Tony thought this would be a good time for the future babysitter to get to know everybody.

"I'm so _old_!" Natasha wails as everyone is sitting around her and the presents.

"Rude," Tony, Loki, Bruce, and Pepper say in unison. Thor is too busy playing with Jane's hair. Steve can never tell if the other blonde is intelligent or not. One second he's oblivious to everything around him and the next he's telling everyone about science and magic. He's brilliant when it comes to his own world, but down here he's got a few problems. He reminds Steve of himself so many months ago. Wow…he was woken up only a month before the Chitauri attack, which means he's only been here for just over a year… He's going to have a family. He's in love and he's going to adopt a baby boy and oh _boy_ he still has to think of a name for that. Drat.

"Open ours first!" Thor exclaims for him and Jane.

From those two she gets a small potted cactus, which Steve thinks is kind of boring, but Natasha seems absolutely thrilled about it. From Steve and Clint she gets a dress, heels, and accessories (basically an entire outfit), and Clint says something about her not being able to wear it for a while before getting smacked in the back of the head. Bruce gets her a black and white comforter set, which Steve also thinks is very boring, but obviously he and Natasha don't have the same taste in gifts if the look that she gives him says anything about it. Loki gives her a spa treatment getaway, saying a very cryptic "_trust_ me" and winking. Pepper's is…very heartfelt. It's a Christmas ornament, which seems out of place (seeing that Christmas was months ago) until she says, "My mother made these instead of aborting me." There was obviously a previous conversation between them as well, but that's as much as anybody learns and it's emotional enough. Tony's present is of course the grand finale, and he takes her and everyone else outside (even though it's still chilly in late March) to reveal—

Steve has never heard Natasha squeal so loudly in his life (which isn't saying much, considering that he's _never_ heard her squeal before), and he doesn't blame her. The black convertible (Steve doesn't know enough about cars to know anything else about it) has red leather seats, red tire rims, and a red hourglass painted on both the hood and the roof of the part that's pushed back to _make_ it a convertible (Steve has no idea what they're called).

"It's an Audi R8 Spyder!" she all but screams, running her hands over it.

Tony grins, his hands shoved into his pockets as he leans against Loki. "Like how I chose the _Spyder_?"

She squeals a yes.

"I made it better, of course. The paint job, plus—" Steve tunes out about then, because engines nowadays mean about zero to him.

"Can I drive it right now?" she asks.

He snorts. "If you can fit in the seat and reach the pedals at the same time, sure."

She pouts out her bottom lip in a very un-Natasha like manner. (Pregnancy does weird things to a person. Two weeks ago Tony claimed that he doesn't even _like_ drinking anymore.) "I can gage it from here and it's not going to happen."

Loki rolls his eyes. "I'll drive you. Do you want the hood down?"

She squeals another yes.

Clint frowns over at him as he and Tony take it down. "You can drive?"

Loki smirks at him. "I'm more than a magician, little bird. Remember that."

Jane smiles after them as they speed off before turning to Tony. "Have you decided on a name for her yet?"

Tony nods. "Alexandria Valkyrie Stark. We were thinking about Alexander, after Alexander the Great just 'cause it sounds cool, but Loki actually liked the name of his horse better." He chuckles. "We changed it to Alexandria when we found out it was going to be a girl, and we didn't even know that it means 'defender of mankind'! And, I mean, I'm in the Avenger's right? Loki sort of is since he helps us all the time, but not officially. I just thought it was cool."

Jane smiles warmly at him. They're about the same height. Tony is so _short_. "What does her middle name mean?"

He purses his lips. "Uh, it's Norse for, erm… Oh right, it means 'chooser of the slain'! Another conqueror reference. Stark means 'strong', so she's gonna be the best hero _ever_. Well, her name will be, anyway. It'd be cool to have her fight by our sides, but she could sit inside and fall in love with Jarvis for all I care. As long as she's happy, really."

Steve was worried for a moment about how much pressure it sounded like they were going to be putting on their daughter, but those last comments made him feel much better.

He suddenly pouts out his bottom lip. "Loki refuses to tell me what she looks like from the ultrasound."

Clint shudders a little. "I swear to all the gods, if she has six eyes…"

Steve rolls his own two eyes and wraps an arm around his waist. "We thought of a name for ours as well, actually."

"Oh, great!" Bruce exclaims. "Natasha can choose a middle name now! What is it?"

"We decided to just put a dash between our last names for _his_ last name, as Rogers-Barton. His first name will be Nathan."

"Tony's not the only one who had an accidental perfect name meaning, either," Clint says with a laugh. "It's Hebrew for 'he gave'. Technically Natasha gave, but still."

Jane gives a warm smile. "How lucky. Come along now, Thor. We have a cake to cut."

**OoOoOoO**

_LOKI  
March 26…_

"This is the best present _ever_!" Natasha yells, arms up as Loki drives at illegal speeds.

Loki smiles as he does a donut in the middle of the road before taking off again. Of all the Avenger's, Loki likes Natasha the best. She may be strict at work (he went on a mission with her once, obviously unbeknownst to Fury or Hill), but after she truly accepted the fact that she's pregnant and her child is going to a good home, she's really quite fun. She may have deep trust and commitment issues, but at least she knows how to have a good time. Bruce is next because he's so quite—yes, maybe he almost got Lok's spine snapped, but it's a lot easier to get along with the man _before_ he's big and green. The doctor is followed by Steve because he's always surprising people with his high level sarcasm, and Clint is last because of the fact that he's still sore about being taken over. They manage to act civilized around others, but when they run into each other alone, all non-physical pain hell breaks loose.

Tony is…confusing. Sometimes Loki wants to pull his hair out, like when he's being downright annoying or hasn't eaten in a long time. He's not usually very moody, but he gets annoying instead. He laughs louder and _breathes_ louder and makes people listen to his bad jokes and Loki _hates_ it when Tony wakes him up in the middle of the night because he's _thirsty_. There are other times, though, that the god actually thinks he's in _love_ with the mortal, which is ridiculous. Loki can't fall in love with a mortal no matter _if_ he's carrying his child, because there's no way to stay with him (except Idunn's apple's, but those are off limits), and Loki is _not_ going to fall in love with someone he can't be with forever.

On the way back from the drive, Natasha lets out a happy breath. "Are you in love with Tony yet?" she asks over the wind, as if just reading part of his mind. She's asked him before, though, so it's not as surprising as it could have been.

"No," he calls back.

"You know, you're totally awesome an' all, but you have _got_ to stop kidding yourself."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Fine. Sometimes."

She rolls hers back. "That's what love _is_, stupid!"

"And _you_ would know as the Queen of Commitment Issues?"

She chuckles. "Haven't you ever watched anyone in love, Loki? Clint and Steve are in love and they annoy each other at _least_ a third of the time. Do you and Tony argue about what color sheets to put on the bed?"

Loki wants to say no, but… "Every time."

"And you make him breakfast and get him glasses of water in the middle of the night and help him get dressed and I have _seen_ you kiss his stomach before, okay? I don't care _if_ he's not going to age with you, you totally love him."

Loki screeches to a halt in the middle of the road just slow enough that Natasha doesn't slam her face against the dashboard.

"Oh my god," he whispers, staring straight ahead. "Natasha, I can't—he won't—Don't tell him! You can't tell him, he'll—"

"Calm down!" Natasha yells in her work voice, breathing heavy after the stop.

Loki takes a deep breath. "He can't know. Tony's not the falling in love type, so he can't—"

"Isn't he?" she asks, crossing her arms. "'Cause he's also not the cuddling type, but you two do that every time you watch a movie. And he doodles absentminded patterns on your back when you fall asleep and plays with your hair when you're reading and _dammit_, Lo', he talks about you when you're not around and the _light_ that flares up in his eyes is _inspiring_."

Loki swallows. "You think he…loves me?"

Natasha shrugs. "If you drive back fast enough you can find out. But I swear to _you_, if you ever slam on the breaks like that again and I will _kill_ you."

Even just before for Natasha, Loki has never driven so fast in his life.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
March 26…_

Tony doesn't care _if_ it's Natasha's birthday, he is eating her cake without her. Steve reprimanded him, but Tony muttered back that he _bought_ the damn thing before disappearing down to the lab.

Jarvis informs him about forty-five minutes after Loki and Natasha left that they're coming back now, and Tony grins over at Loki as he comes down the stairs, showing off his icing-covered face.

"How'd she like it?" he asks.

Instead of answering, though, Loki pulls him into one of the most passionate kisses that he's ever given.

Tony is too surprised to kiss Loki back before he pulls away, his pupils dilated so much that Tony can barely even tell their emerald green color.

"Whoa, hi," Tony says, wiping the icing off his face. "I missed you, too."

"I love you," Loki says.

Tony almost falls over, but Loki catches him.

"I don't care if you don't love me back," Loki continues. "I don't care if you're not immortal or if you're going to be somewhat scared of me when I can hurt people again. I love you and the way you wear your hair and the color of your eyes and your _smell_. I love your projects and the way you light up when you see food and the way you play with my hair when I read. The only thing I do _not_ love is the way that you wake me up to get you water, because I do not _care_ if you're pregnant, you can get your own damn water. But I get it for you anyway, right? Because I loved you and I didn't know it yet. It's okay if you don't feel that strong, but just don't make me leave."

Tony stares up at him. Loki is…is…

Tony kisses him hard, wishing to the gods that his stomach could shrink during this moment. He wants to feel Loki pressed against every inch of his body instead of having to curl awkwardly over the baby bump, and he wants to watch Loki stroke in and out of him instead of the view being blocked.

"But we can't be forever," Tony whispers. "How do we? I'm going to grow old, Lo'."

"And I'll make you young again when you do."

Tony kisses him. "I swear to the gods," he whispers, "if you do not take me _now_ I will—"

Tony is used to the teleportation now, so when Loki drops them onto the bed he doesn't have to pause to keep from throwing up even though he's pregnant. Loki gets all of their clothes off before going down on Tony, sucking him down until Tony is getting cramps in his fingers from gripping onto the sheets so hard. He stretches Tony as soon as he pulls away, and just as he's pushing in…he slows. He rests his hands on the sides of Tony's stomach and kisses up it, trailing his lips up to Tony's neck. His cock buries as deep as it can as he sucks slowly on his neck, and Tony moans incoherently and tangles his fingers into black hair.

"Loki, gods," Tony breathes, pushing his face away to look up at the magician as he keep pumping. "You should confess your love more often."

Loki smirks and tilts his hips differently, leaning down to kiss Tony and swallows his moans as his prostate is brushed.

Eventually Tony reaches the top, and he comes hard between Loki and himself. Loki pumps in until Tony has stopped coming, letting his own release wash inside of Tony as he moans into the crook of his neck.

"Guess what?" Tony whispers into his ear as they catch their breath.

"What?" Loki asks.

"I love you, too."

The god pulls up to look down at him, eyes giving away his surprise. "Really?" he asks.

Tony rolls his eyes. "Come on, Lo'. I know I'm an asshole and I would say all sorts of things to get people into my bed, but there's no way I would tell someone that I love them afterwards just to make them feel better."

Loki snorts, pulling out of Tony and lying beside him to pull him into his arms. "Much as I love hearing it, that was the worst response to my 'really' that I ever could have heard."

Tony chuckles. "And _you_ love me anyway. Does this mean we're dating now?"

Loki shrugs. "I don't care what the label is."

"Mmm, me neither. Why did you just tell me you love me now, though? It seems like you have for a while…"

Loki smirks. "Natasha made me realize."

Tony laughs, kissing his chin. "I'm definitely kicking you two out on drives more often."

Loki smiles, eyes dilating again. "The car is brilliant, Tony. The model and the paint job and the cylinders and…" He giggles, which is not a Loki-like thing to do at all. "It's going to need new tired and a tank fill-up very soon."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "You were only gone for forty-five minutes! What did you _do_?"

Loki gives a one-shouldered shrug. "We drove really, really fast and I skidded to a halt when I realized that she was right."

"About…?"

"About being in love with you."

Tony purses his lips. "What did she say, anyway? I mean, you just said of lot of why you did and hey, you're right and I love you too, whoopee. But she started it, so…"

Loki lets out a deep breath. Not a sigh, but a breath. "It started with Natasha asking if we argued about what color sheets we put on the bed."

Tony blinks up at him. "She decided that we're in love because we _argue_? She argues with Fury all the time and they are _definitely_ not in love."

Loki gives a small eye roll. "There's more to it than that, Tony."

"Yeah? Tell me. What all she said, I mean."

Loki nods. "She pointed things out, really. That I make you breakfast and _actually_ get up to get you those glasses of water—not that I know where she learned about the water, but I'm just assuming it was Bruce. Something about helping you get dressed and kissing your stomach, too. That's about it."

Tony smiles and kisses Loki's chin again as he thinks of those instances. "Did she say anything about what I do?"

Loki nods. "That we cuddle during movies, you draw pictures on my back when I'm asleep, and play with my hair."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "I know I play with your hair, but I didn't know about the drawing."

Loki smiles and nods. "On the way back she told me about how she asked Jarvis to show the surveillance from above and map out your finger movements. You drew ladybugs most of the time, but other things were our helmets, other animals, and sometimes you played Tic-Tac-Toe against yourself outside of the lines."

"Why would I play it outside of the lines?"

"Because you didn't know you were playing it. It was an absentminded thing, love, which is why you don't remember it."

Tony smiles warmly up at him. He hears Steve call Clint 'love' all the time, but nobody has ever called Tony that.

"You know what we should do?" Loki asks right after that.

"Mmm, what?"

"Go get you more cake, because I haven't had any yet."

Tony mashes his lips into a line. He's really tired all the time (though still never as tired as Bruce always seems) because of obvious reasons, _and_ he's just now had sex and…but…but sugar…

He swings up. "Yeah, okay."

**OoOoOoO**

_STEVE  
2 Weeks and 2 Days Later  
April 11…_

Steve is used to Clint waking up in cold sweats now, so he pulls him into his arms right away and kisses his forehead, reassuring him that it's just a dream. It's two in the morning.

"Steve," he whispers. "Steve, Loki's punishment was up at midnight, what do we—"

"We _breathe_, love," Steve whispers, holding him tight. "Remember what Tony told us? That Loki promised him he wouldn't hurt any of us? We're safe."

"Yeah," Clint says back, burying himself against Steve. "Yeah, we're safe. We're safe…"

"But _are_ you?" a new voice asks, and suddenly a flash of green light floods the room. Loki is suddenly there at the foot of their bed, an evil grin on his face. He looks menacing enough in his leather, but the fact that his eyes are glowing red and blue patterns are beginning to map over his skin makes it even worse. Steve and the others have seen his Jötunn form, but this is a little different than that. "Did I _really_ make that promise, or is Tony just telling you that to make you _feel_ better?"

"Tony wouldn't lie about that!" Clint exclaims in a tired voice.

Loki grins even more and shows off fangs. "Wouldn't he?" he asks. His nails grow into claws and his ears turn to points. "I think he would."

"Walk away, Loki," Steve says darkly. He knows the god can hurt them, but he's certainly not going to just _let_ him. "You'll never see your daughter if you do it."

All at once, Loki flashes back to normal, even out of his leather and into an outfit that makes him look like those hippies from the sixties. "Oh, he _did_ tell you!" he mutters, pushing a hand into his hair. "I totally would have had you and… Argh! He is in _so_ much trouble!" He disappears, then, no doubt to growl at Tony.

"He was just pulling a _prank_?" Clint groans.

Steve sighs. "It is going to be a loong rest of our lives."

* * *

End chapter notes: Okay so dude the whole baby name thing really was an accident. I chose them and THEN looked up what they meant. I was so excited :P PS Natasha's/Steve and Clint's baby is named Nathan, right? It wasn't until I had completely finished the story that I realized how confusing that is to read because they both kinda look the same. Just…be careful, I guess. If it sounds confusing, look closer :P Haha.


	6. Chapter 6

[Chapter summary: In which the hospital has their work cut out for them, Alexandria is definitely not human, and everyone is happy.]

**Chapter Six**

_NATASHA  
1 Month, 2 Weeks, and 1 Day Later  
May 29…_

"What do you _mean_ Tony's going into labor?!" Natasha screeches at Clint over the phone.

"I mean he's in the hospital right now!" Clint yells back.

"That can't be happening, I got pregnant two _months_ before him!"

"Well it _is_, so stop yelling at me! Loki's a creepy magician alien, so _any_thing can happen! Whatever's inside of Tony probably grows faster than a normal human!"

Natasha sighs angrily, hurrying Bruce into her car (the one that Tony got her, of course) so he can drive them to the hospital. "Good lord, he's three months early. My date is supposed to be in two weeks, dammit!"

"Give me that," Bruce mutters, snatching her cell phone as he drives. "Clint, it's me. We're on our way. See you soon. Bye." He hangs up.

"Rude," Natasha says, taking it back and putting it into her pocket.

They rush into the hospital as fast as Natasha's stomach will allow, quick getting visitor passes before being direction to where Clint, Steve, Jane, and Thor are. Pepper would be except that Tony told her she doesn't have to so she can go to an important meeting with some guy named Aldrich Killian.

"Loki's inside with him," Steve says from his spot on one of the three waiting chairs. "He came out a few minutes ago with tears in his eyes to tell us that it's going fine before going right back in."

"For a god, he sure is a crybaby," Clint says.

Natasha can't help but glare at him. "Hopefully you would be too, asshole."

He sighs dramatically, sitting on Steve's lap (Jane is on Thor's lap in another, and Bruce takes the extra). "Everybody is so dramatic today."

Steve frowns. "You do realize that we're going to be dad's this month, right?'

He groans. "Not you, too!"

"I hope she has wings!" Thor says oblivious. He's either that or so tuned in that he can hear someone frown.

"I'm sure it will, darling," Jane says, kissing his cheek.

Natasha's gotta hand it to her, she is one tough chick. One second she's the sweetest little thing, but the next she's yelling at Thor and Loki to stop arguing. That's impressive in itself because she's brave enough _to_ yell at Loki (Thor is different because they're dating), but that it actually works is downright inspiring.

"How long have they been in there?" Bruce asks.

"Just about thirty-five minutes," Steve says. "Loki said something about Clint-sections taking thirty minutes to an hour when he came out."

"So we just…wait?" Natasha asks.

Clint nods. "Yup."

She sighs. "Well, while we're at it, I might as well tell you guys the middle name that I chose…"

Clint and Steve light up like beacons. "What did you choose?" they ask in sync.

Natasha licks her lips, looking Clint directly in the eye. "Francis." It's Clint's middle name. It's his son, she just _has_ to give him more recognition than a last name…

Steve cocks an eyebrow (Natasha knows that he knows what it is, but he's probably just questioning as to why), but Clint raises both. "You're giving him the same middle name as me?" he asks.

She shrugs. "It sounded good. It means 'Frenchman', which is really boring, but now you can teach him French."

Clint nods, looking up at Steve. "It is pretty sexy in bed, I suppose."

Natasha has never seen the blonde blush so much.

**OoOoOoO**

_TONY  
May 29…_

Tony wakes up somewhat groggy, which he expected after Loki put him under with a weird green fog—except that he also can't get his eyes open. He also expected pain in his…well, stomach region, since he doesn't know exactly where they had to cut since he didn't have a uterus. It feels fine, though. Perfect, actually.

"Lo'?" Tony mumbles, reaching up to rub his eyes.

"I'm right here, love." A hand pushes through his hair. "The others are with me. I want you to meet someone new, though. Can you open your eyes all the way for me? I know the fog can be annoying, but it was necessary if I was going to heal you."

Tony frowns, still trying to see. "Heal me?"

"The incision. It usually takes weeks to heal, but I just fixed it up right away. I left the scar. I didn't know if you'd want to keep it. I can take it away if you don't."

"No, I…I want it." He finally yanks his eyes open, and up in Loki's arms is…good gods, it's his daughter. She's fast asleep, her head turned away.

Tony sits up in a flash, and Loki smiles before carefully giving the baby girl to him.

"Alexandria Valkyrie Stark," he whispers. He looks up at Loki. "Is she, ah…fully human?"

Loki shakes his head, sitting down beside him on the bed. He very carefully turns Alex in Tony's arms, and Tony sees it right away: tiny little green wings, not yet big enough with her to fly with. They're just little stubs right now, so there's no way to tell any real detail about them, either.

Tony can't help it: "I gave birth to a cherub?"

Natasha _and_ Steve have to cover Clint's mouth so that his laughter doesn't wake the baby.

Loki glares over at him before looking back at Tony with a warm smile. "No," he whispers, pointing at the ears. They're pointed and tipped in emerald green. "You gave birth to a dragon."

"Wings!" Thor says in the loudest whisper that Tony has ever heard. "She can _fly_! Oh, this is so—"

Jane covers his mouth as well.

Loki points out other small markings that show she's part-dragon, being the little nub of a tail she's got, the naturally black nails (not like with nail polish, but more like they're…molding... It's a very dull black, anyway), and Loki even opens one eye to show off the same emerald green that he's got and a slitted pupil.

"Wow," Tony whispers, stroking his fingers lightly across her forehead. "A dragon. But she's half-human, right?"

Loki nods. "Her wings and tail will grow as she does, and her teeth will turn to fangs and nails to claws. Well…" He shrugs. "That's a guess, really. I've never given birth to a half-dragon before, or even a full one."

Tony sighs happily. "I wonder if she'll—"

"Fuck!"

Tony, Loki, and all the others look over at Natasha, who's bent over as much as she can be.

"What happened?" Clint asks, resting both hands on her stomach.

"I…I don't know," she says, breathing heavy. "It might have been a…" She takes a deep breath and stands up. "No, I'm fine. My fat and I are fine."

Loki walks straight over to her. A soft yellow light envelopes his hand, and after holding it both on her stomach and against her forehead, he snuffs it out and chuckles.

"Actually," he says, "you're going into labor."

Natasha frowns. "But he's not due until—"

"Babies aren't textbook, Nat," Tony says, smiling over at her. "If you think _you're_ early, you've got a thing or two comin'."

"You got pregnant from a _god_, Tony," Steve says. "Of course it turned out different than with two humans."

"Oh boy, another!" Jane says happily, standing up. "Come along, darling, and we'll check you in as a birthing guest instead of a visitor."

Natasha sighs and lets herself get pulled along, and very soon Tony and Loki are alone with their little Alex.

Loki kisses him softly, and Tony reaches up one of his hands to curl around the back of the gods neck and pull him even closer.

He grins when they pull apart. "We still don't have to get married, right?" he asks.

Loki manages to pull of a warm smirk. "We'll see."

Tony's heart flutters helplessly, and Loki smiles before kissing him again.

"We are never going to have any peace and quiet after this," Tony says when Loki has pulled up a chair to sit beside him. "Even though I've never had a baby before, I know they're not easy to take care of."

Loki nods. "Yes, it will be difficult, but I think we can manage. Didn't you know I can create clones of myself? I would have suggested it instead of Jane, but fighting takes up too much energy to do it safely."

Tony is about to comment, but the weird look that washes across Loki's face stops him. "Hey, is something wrong?"

Loki licks his lips. "I could have hurt you a long time ago, you know. Long before April eleventh.

Tony frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"When you became pregnant because of me, you became a _part_ of me. I could hurt myself just fine, and…I could have hurt you too, but instead I hurt the walls. I never told you because I didn't want you to be scared of me. I didn't want you to make me leave, or at the very least tell me to stay away from you until the birth. I know you're not afraid of me now because you know I could never hurt what I love." He sighs, brushing his thumb over Alex's hand. "It's going to be a long journey, Tony. I hope you know that."

Tony smirks. "Would I have fallen in love with you if I didn't?"

And Loki has never smiled brighter.

**OoOoOoO**

_NATASHA  
May 30…_

Natasha was in labor for ten fucking hours. She is _never_ getting pregnant again. The little boy is cute from where Natasha can see him in Steve's arms, but good lord, he was hell to push out. Natasha and Clint are both generally small people, which means that Nathan is small, but still.

It's just her, Clint, Steve, and Nathan in the room right now. Bruce, Thor, and Jane went to check back up on Tony, Loki, and Alex. They all stayed the night in the hospital last night, most of them on the floor.

"Clint," Natasha whispers.

Clint looks over at her, and she knows that the moment he looks at her he knows that something is wrong.

"You okay, 'Tasha?" he asks, kneeling beside her bed.

She sniffs in, keeping back tears. "No."

Steve pales slightly. "Are you going to…?"

She nods. "Go to the others. See if Loki will feed him."

He frowns. "Loki?"

"Yes, he told me that he's able to give himself the body of a woman who's just given birth, which means milk."

Steve takes a deep breath and walks over to her, setting Nathan in her arms. "You do it, Nat. I'll tell him."

Clint sighs, sitting down all the way and rubbing a hand over his forehead. "I already know," he whispers.

Natasha frowns down at him. "Know what?"

"That I'm the one that got you pregnant."

Natasha pales even more than Steve, and she sinks deeper into her pillow. "Oh god, Clint, who told you?" she asks. She feels terrible. She feels sick, like… Oh gods.

"Nobody told me," he says. "I, uh…stole one of Tony's pocket hackers after Steve told me that you wanted us to adopt the baby. I read through your mission reports and saw that you killed your target before sleeping with him, and you haven't had any others. I know you, Natasha. You don't lie to me often, but this is something you would. And hey, you did. I'm not mad at you. I'm actually glad that nobody told me. It was a lot easier to break down by myself."

Natasha cringes. "If you knew, then why did you ask why I gave him your middle name?"

He gives a guilty grin. "I wanted to know what lie you would come up with."

She blinks at him before shoving the hospital pillow in her face and bursting into laughter.

Steve sighs as she does. "You didn't even tell _me_ that you knew?" he asks.

"No, because I knew you would tell Natasha, and so would Bruce if I had said it out loud."

"Well…that's true."

"Exactly."

"Wow," Natasha says, pulling the pillow away. "Tony really is the only one that never knows what's going on."

Clint smiles at her. "I know you don't want him," he says, "but we're going to leave you alone to nurse, okay? Steve doesn't want to see your boobs."

Steve raises an eyebrow. "And you _do_?"

He rolls his eyes. "No, but human anatomy doesn't really affect me. I mean, it doesn't make me uncomfortable or turn me on—however you want to call it." He smirks. "Except _you_ turn me on, of course."

"Alright, alright, alright, get out," Natasha says. "I don't want _either_ of you to see my boobs."

When they're out, Natasha lets out a deep sigh before shifting around so that she can cover herself with her blanket and nobody will get a boob shot when walking in. It's not very hard to feed him, really… The only reason Natasha is, though, instead of putting him straight on a bottle, is because it's healthier for the baby. They get a better immune system because they get the right antigens/cells from the milk or something. Natasha's never really done too much research on babies.

Nathan Francis Rogers-Barton… It's got an awkward ring with the two last names, but maybe Clint and Steve will just get married and fix it. Either one sounds perfect on it's own.

There's a quiet knock on the door about ten minutes later, and Natasha calls for whoever it is to come on in.

Bruce gives her a warm smile as he shuts the door behind him, followed by pulling a chair to her bedside. "Loki is feeding Alex, too. I left because Tony was getting 'territorial' about people seeing his chest in the female form, but it looks like I'm right back where I started."

Natasha smiles at him before looking down at Nathan. "Nobody territorial here. You're safe."

He nods. "How do you feel?"

She sighs. "Weird."

"What kind of weird?"

"The kind you feel after you just gave birth to a baby you have to breast feed even though you're giving him away."

Bruce nods. "Not a good weird, then."

"I should feed bad, you know? He's not going to know who his mom is and she'll be right there in the _same house_. Clint already knew that it was his… What if the kid turns into a hacker, or is just smart enough to steal one of Tony's pocket hackers to do it for him… He'll be able to find out who his mom is in just under an hour! I don't even know how I feel about it, Bruce, but I don't want him to know right away and always want to be around me instead of Clint and Steve. He's not mine anymore, and we've got the papers to prove it. I'd rather him find out and hate me for it."

Bruce gives her a sad smile. "But what if he hates his fathers, too?"

She sighs again. "I suppose it _is_ their choice… If they want to risk it, then they can. But, from my womb or not, there's no way I'm gonna put up with him. I'll ditch him through the vents if I have to. I'm not a mom and I never will be."

Bruce gives his own sigh, reaching up to tuck the blankets more around Nathan's body. "I think you should keep it a secret from him, too, but…look at what happened to Loki. He found out he was adopted and it all went to hell."

"Nathan's not born of 'monsters that parents tell their children about at night', though. He's born of me and one of his dads, which I suppose is close, considering what we do for a living. He's not going to try and take over the world or anything, though."

"I mean is he going to start shunning every last one of us, though? He could. It's what you and Clint have both done."

She frowns down at Nathan before turning to Bruce. "It's our job to shun."

"Not your teammates, Natasha. You're supposed to let us in."

She glares. "I gave my baby away, I tell you everything, and I haven't once used my feed jammer. Haven't I _been_ letting you in?"

Bruce shakes his head. "I'm not saying you are right now, I'm saying that you could go back to doing it. You haven't been letting us in, you've been pregnant. Now that you're not, though, you might go right back to hiding. You were funny before, and you made us _think_ that you were opened up, but you weren't all the way, and after this you might go and finding the best hiding spot you've had yet."

Natasha sighs, looking back at Nathan. "You're right," she whispers, "but I don't know how to stop it. I've done it my whole life."

He rests a hand on one of her arms. "Just don't stop talking to me and I think you'll be alright."

She gives him a tired smile. Labor and birthing and ugh, now she's feeding. It takes a lot out of a girl. "No feed jammers either?"

He smirks. "You can give it to Steve. I'm pretty sure he's the only one who's not actually comfortable with the idea that I could tune in and listen to him and Clint having sex."

Natasha just laughs, because Bruce is absolutely wonderful.

**OoOoOoO**

_STEVE  
2 Days Later  
June 1…_

"I know he's cute an' all," Clint says as he stumbles across the floor to get to the intercom, "but this waking up in the middle of the night thing really sucks."

Steve gives him a tired smile as he rocks Nathan to calm him down. "It's worth it, though."

"True." He presses the button to call Natasha's room. "'Taaashaaa…" he whines.

She groans back at him. "Has it been three hours already?"

"Yeees."

Natasha walks into their room a few minutes later in her pajamas, a small blanket over her shoulder so she can somewhat cover herself up for Steve's sake.

"Come 'ere, kid," she mutters, sitting down on the bed.

Steve hands Nathan over before sitting down beside her.

"You should just sleep in here," Clint mutters, flopping between them. "You won't have to move so much."

"Okay," Natasha mumbles back as Nathan feeds. "Mattress or…?"

"I don't care."

She looks at Steve.

He shrugs. "The bed is big is big enough for us all."

She nods. "Does Clint still do the starfish?"

Steve smiles. Maybe he is tired and maybe it is annoying to have to get up every two to three hours to feed the baby (Natasha's the only one that actually does the feeding, but she said that if _she's_ up then they have to be up too), but he knows that he's forever going to love being a dad. "Only if he's alone, like during a nap."

"Mmm, I don't like being alone," he says, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist.

Natasha nods. "That's true, he did only do it when I got back late."

Steve wrinkles his nose up in confusion. "Okay, I know you guys had that one-night stand-ish thing ten months ago, but did you…actually date once?"

They both snort. "No," Clint says, "but we've been on lots of missions, or different missions in the same area, and it's always been easier to just get one room. Some missions have even required us to pretend we're a couple in the first place. We've probably slept in the same bed more often than apart, honestly. Only once did it ever lead to anything, but…" He shrugs. "I'm a dad now, so I can't complain."

Steve smiles, pushing his fingers through Clint's hair before looking up at Natasha and Nathan. "Yes we are, and it's certainly the greatest thing."

**OoOoOoO**

_Tony  
June 1…_

"I wonder if she can breathe fire," Tony whispers, stroking his fingers down Alex's back as she's sleeping between them on the king sized bed.

"Hopefully not for a few more years," Loki says quietly, smiling over at him. Tony can't believe that it's the pissy god he fell in love with, but here they are, dad's and everything. "Every time I burp her she'll catch my hair on fire."

Tony giggles, quiet enough that he doesn't wake Alex. "Good point. I wonder how fast she's going to grow, though, since she was born so early…"

"You've been wondering that since you got back, love."

Tony sighs happily. "Never in my entire life did I picture myself smiling at a baby, let alone my baby, let alone my baby that I myself gave birth to as a man." He wrinkles his nose up. "If she gets made fun of at school I am going to hurt somebody."

Loki purses his lips slightly. "Wouldn't it be better if she was…homeschooled?"

Tony bites onto his bottom lip. "Probably, but who would do it? All of us? We're not always here, and I'm really bad at teaching people things. I just get mad and make them let me do it for them."

Loki breathes a laugh. "I'm the same way. Maybe Bruce will—"

"Lo', he's going to be terrified to even be around the two kids because he'll be afraid that he's just going to hurt them."

Loki frowns at him. "Wait a minute, do you even know _why_ he can't have kids?"

Tony frowns back, pushing up on an elbow. "What do you mean? It's just because he's afraid he'll Hulk out around, them, right?"

"That's only half of the reason. Tony, he's, ah… When he says he _can't_ have kids, he doesn't just mean he's afraid to have them. He literally can't. He's not fertile."

Tony's eyes widen. "I—what?" he asks quietly, incredulous. "I didn't know that! Why didn't he tell me?"

"He thought you knew, stupid. Everyone else does."

Tony groans, dropping down from his elbow. "Why am I always the last one to know what the hell is going on?"

Loki smirks. "Because you're always too busy with a project or a body to pay attention."

Tony grins. "Yeah, it's definitely worth being distracted for."

He and Loki lie there for who knows how much longer, and just as Tony feels as though he's falling asleep, he thinks of a question…

"Hey, Lo'?"

"Mmm?"

"Why exactly did you get your specific punishment? I mean, you had to spend six months on Jotunheim without your powers, and then six more months here on earth with all your powers but you not being able to hurt anyone… Why didn't Odin just lock you up or something?"

Loki sighs through his nose. "They sent me to the realms that I tried to destroy or take over in some way."

Tony frowns. "You never told me that you tried to destroy your home realm."

He nods. "I wanted to erase what I was… I wanted to be _only_ Asgardian, not a Frost Giant runt who has magic abilities to make his skin a different color. I killed my father, you know."

Tony blinks at him. "You…really?"

"Yes. I was trying to prove to my adopted father that I could be in line for the throne as well as Thor, but… Well, needless to say, it didn't work."

Tony swallows. "That's why you dropped into the abyss, isn't it?"

Loki nods again. "Thor and I were both hanging off the edge when he destroyed the Bifrost's teleportation device, and we would have fallen if Odin hadn't caught Thor's hand. I was only holding onto the handle of Thor's hammer, and… I told him that we could have done it. I even called him 'father'. But he told me no, so I just let go." He stares up at the ceiling. "I wonder if I'm welcome up there again. I haven't been back yet…"

Tony purses his lips. "You could get Thor to ask for you…"

He shakes his head. "I don't think I want to know yet."

Tony gives a sad smile. "In the meantime, then, I know one place you're _very_ welcome."

Loki smiles at him. "Where?"

"Exactly where you're lying."

Loki gives a brilliant smile, but instead of leaning across to kiss Tony like Tony expected, he rolls off the other way. Tony frowns at him as he shuffles around the room before going over to Tony's side of the bed.

Tony sits up, looking up at him. "What are you…?" But he trails off, because Loki is kneeling down with one knee and holding out a little red box.

He opens it up to an obviously customized ring, the ring itself an intertwining of silver and gold, with a ruby and an emerald cut into the top.

"It's not a diamond," he whispers, "but I figured you'd like it anyway."

Tony all but launches off of the bed, wrapping his arms around Loki's neck and kissing him hard. Loki laughs as they thunk against the carpet, kissing him back.

"That's a yes, then?"

Tony smirks down at him. "You didn't ask yet."

The god rolls his eyes. "How I fell in love with the annoying one, I will never know. Will you marry me, Tony?"

Tony kisses him again. "Yes."


	7. Epilogue

[Chapter summary: In which they're the team of the century and Tony is always the last to know.]

**Epilogue**

_NATASHA  
17 Years Later  
June 1…_

Natasha peeks out from behind the car she's hiding behind, her gun up. Doom is at it again, his annoying robots running around the city. Natasha is still convinced that the eight Avenger members will take them down easy, though, no matter that Tony is in his fifties and Bruce is one year away from being sixty. They're the Iron Man and the Hulk, not to mention having two super assassins, a super soldier, a magical god, an acrobatic assassin, and a dragon. Nathan and Alexandria are all grown up to seventeen now, and while Alexandria's name stayed the same, Nathan's last name is now simply "Rogers". Natasha can never decide which wedding she liked better, really… Tony and Loki's over-lavished, over-media covered, and just all around overdone one or the small, quiet one that Clint and Steve had done by Bruce (who knew he was certified for that) when Nathan and Alexandria were four.

She watches with a smirk as Nathan dives off of a building, instantly being soared under by Alexandria so he can land on her back with his feet. They make an amazing duo, though there's certainly no romance between them. She knows because Bruce tells her, and she and him still tell each other everything since the other four are already in pairs—married ones, even. But her and Bruce are just nice and single. Natasha doesn't feel like doing much on the seduction scale at forty-one, but she's still one of the best in the field. (Phil Coulson was the best until his death, and that wasn't until he was fifty-seven. Every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent looks up to him, Natasha and Hill included.)

To Natasha's annoyance, Nathan looks more like her than he does to Clint. He's got dark red hair and blue eyes like Natasha, and they're even about the same size. He's completely human, but he's extremely flexible and has a high ability level of gymnastics and acrobatics. Alexandria is completely different in personality, with dark brown hair like Tony and emerald green eyes like Loki. She's got dark green dragon wings the size of her body, a long dark green tail with spikes, black claws, fangs, and fire breath. That's what Tony gets for sleeping with a magic god, really.

"'Tasha!" Clint says, appearing beside her. "We've only got a few more of those pesky flying ones left. You up for a throw? Steve'll be here any minute."

Natasha nods, holstering her gun. "Just like old times."

**OoOoOoO**

_BRUCE  
June 1…_

"What I don't understand," Tony says around his glass of scotch, "is why Bruce can't just listen in on _Doom's_ feed so we can just fine the asshole. It's nearly been twenty years! I'm sick of him!"

Loki gives a warm eye roll. Even after seventeen years he still looks at him like he's the center of the universe, which he knows very well is not, considering that he's probably _been_ to the center of the universe. "Calm down, love."

Bruce is about to comment, but instead he turns to the living room door, because in come Nathan and Alexandria. Horrible as it sounds, Bruce has definitely chosen his favorite of the two: Nathan. It's not so bad, though, since Alexandria tends to be more reclusive than the rest of them—even more so than Natasha was, which is saying something. She's just like her aunt, in which she acts like the life of the party, but as soon as it comes to letting people in, it's pretty much no one. Her and Nathan are best friends, so he knows everything, but Bruce is pretty sure that he's it.

Aside from that, though, both seventeen year olds are great, but Alexandria is just a little cocky (even though she's actually extremely self-conscious about her inhuman features), plus the fact that she's just not his style. He has no idea where she got the hippie look from, but her dragon features certainly pull off the dreadlock look. She also wears a lot of beads, plus the fact that she collects crystal balls—which is why her Avenger name is "Gypsy". Nathan is a little more refined, and Clint got him straight into archery, guns, and gymnastics. He's all but a god when it comes to flexibility and acrobatics/gymnastics in general (his small size comes in handy with that, too), and the way he likes to leap off of incredible heights is how he got _his_ Avenger name: Vault. He's fully human, though, which means that somebody better catch him on the way down.

"We brought pizzaaa!" Alexandria exclaims, holding the multiple boxes above her head. Natasha is literally the only one that eats a "normal" amount in the mansion, because Alexandria is part-animal and all the others are men.

"And breadsticks!" Nathan grins, holding up his multiple bags as well.

Everyone whoops before taking it off their hands, and Natasha and Alexandria (they also hang out a lot because they've got similar trust issues and they're both the only females around) run off to get paper plates, plastic cups, and two big bottles of soda from the fridge.

Bruce probably shouldn't have, but…well, Nathan knows that Natasha is his biological mother because of him. He didn't _plan_ on telling, but it's no secret that Bruce always knows what's going on, so it didn't take long for Nathan and Alexandria to figure out to just go to him whenever they're being told something. They've been homeschooled all these years as well, though Tony, Loki, Clint, and Steve did promise that they could at least go to a public school for their senior year.

Everybody has specific titles to the two teens… For Alexandria, Tony is "mom" and Loki is "dad", but they're just "Uncle Tony" and "Uncle Loki" to Nathan. For Nathan it's "dad" for Clint and "poppa" for Steve, but just "Uncle Bird" and "Uncle 'Murika". For both, though, Bruce is "grandpa" (that's what he gets for being the oldest), Natasha is "aunt", Thor is "uncle", Jane is "nanny" (even though she stopped babysitting when they turned twelve), and Pepper goes by "boss" even though neither of the teens work for her.

It's a nice life, really. Never quiet, but very nice. Lots of things still happen, though none more have involved pregnancies. Bruce knows it first, Natasha knows it next because Bruce tells her, Clint and Alexandria knows it from Natasha, Steve and Nathan know it from Clint, Loki knows it who knows where, and Tony…well, as usual, and to his dismay, he's always the last to know.

**_-THE END-_**

* * *

Ending notes: And…that's the end! I hope this was satisfactory to all of you, but especially to the user that requested it! Review or don't, it's all the same to me! *Hearts all around*


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